Girls Gone Geek

Nimue does not take kindly to impending doom.

As with so many other things that are artistically awesome, they come to an end long before they should. Over at Bleeding Cool, rumor has it that Madame Xanadu will soon meet her demise at Vertigo (winks at Shag for shooting me the link). Whether because of corporate rearranging of characters, low sales, or the creators having other projects they deem priority, this falls under the category of tragic.

I only recently discovered Madame Xanadu. The first trade, “Disenchanted,” was exceptional. When I finished reading it, I immediately re-read it. Amy Reeder’s art is out of this world. She draws Madame Xanadu so beautifully, with ethereal hints of Manga that make her work bright and unique. Matt Wagner’s story is nothing short of brilliant. He depicts a character who is so powerful and ageless, yet internally flawed by deep emotional wounds a thousand years old. Wagner ingeniously weaves in characters like Merlin, The Phantom Stranger, and Morgan Le Fey, which entices the continuity hound in me. The second trade was also very good, albeit quite different. An alternate artist, Michael William Kaluta, added a rugged vibe to the arc. It worked for the time-period of the story. Think Spanish Inquisition and Jack the Ripper. The writing continued to be fanfuckingtastic as we see a more mature Xanadu, settling into who she’s decided to be. So good in fact, I started buying the issues. The most recent arc, beginning at #26 (check my review over at Newsarama), is very promising.

I could sycophantically profess 100 other things I love about this book, but I’ll stop here, as it’s not going to change anything. I’ve learned to accept that when I really, really love a book, it will inevitably get canned. I’m not so completely narcissistic to believe that I’m one of the few who recognize true excellence. But how does a book like Brightest Day (aka the UBER-MEH) continue on while Xanadu must cease? Sales, I’m sure. To that, I say: Advertise the damn book! I’m so over this “It’s not selling” cop-out. If Xanadu got nearly as much ad space as Brightest Day, I bet it would sell. Pardon me, Mr. Wagner, if I’m being presumptuous and assuming it wasn’t your decision. You are a gifted writer; perhaps you decided to move on. I know Ms. Reeder is taking on Batwoman (aka the MEGA-WIN), and covers for Supergirl, which I’m sure will be splendid. But why do the books I love have to go?

Birds of Prey is back, and that’s great. DC previously discontinued that book and let the characters get turned into feminine frailty. Gail Simone is very quickly rectifying that, but it took four years for DC to figure out what a gem they had with Simone and BoP. Amid the hoopla surrounding Wonder Woman, DC claimed her books weren’t selling either, thus justifying the redesign/reboot. Again, perhaps the books would sell if she got even half the ad space as Batman. Issue #600 sold like hotcakes because it was advertised out the wazoo, combined with the gimmick of changing her appearance. Surely, there aren’t that many JMS fans. Sorry.

Vertigo books consistently have solid writing and good art. I’d say that about a third of the books at DC prime are working with that combo. I acknowledge the factor of sheer numbers. Fine. But this cash cow momentum is a ruthless executioner. If the rumor is true, Madame Xanadu is being unjustifiably sent to the guillotine.

Messing with a classic is ballsy, but doing so successfully requires finesse. Do it right, and you get something like the “Star Trek” movie reboot. Misstep, and you’ve got New Coke. It is not for the faint of heart —or the clumsy.

This brings us to Wonder Woman’s new costume, which you can see today in its full glory with the debut of issue #600. As this is being written, V. and I have yet to read new Wondy writer J. Michael Stracynzski’s first issue, so we can’t comment on the story. The outfit, redesigned by none other than Jim Lee, is another story.

Here’s what we like: The old-school top is fine, and the gloves are hot in an I-will-beat-you-down-in-an-alley kind of way.

What don’t we like? Let’s start with the boots, which pissed us off mightily. If you’re going to put Diana in black leggings, why not let her keep some version of her iconic, red kicks? As V. put it, it’s all about the fucking boots, and the mall footwear with golden frippery isn’t going to cut it. And we like biker chick chic as much as anyone, but the star-spangled blue jacket looks like a Black Canary ripoff. And a choker? No. Seriously, no.

Wonder Woman’s new clothes aren’t terrible or offensive; but they are disappointingly generic and dated. As one person wrote on the DCU blog: “Looks like she’s just changed for happy hour after work. In 1996.”

JMS outlines the ideas behind the costume redesign in an extensive interview with Comic Book Resources, but I’m not sure I buy them. For starters, why does a superhero costume have to be practical? In all my years of reading “Wonder Woman” comics — the good and the bad — I’ve never wondered how she fights “without all her parts popping out” or where she keeps her keys. It’s a suspension of disbelief thing. Couldn’t she just keep some recognizable version of her costume underneath contemporary street clothes, like Spider-Man?

It’s not that we’re anti-change, but we think an amazing heroine ought to have an amazing costume. Reboot or no, Wonder Woman is a classic who should be distinguishable from, say, Donna Troy. Paging Christian Siriano!

By the absurdly slim margin of 51.7% over 48.3%, it has been decided that I should finish reading Crisis on Infinite Earths. Hooray for me.

For those who voted for me to move on, thanks for trying. I’ve got some juicy stuff waiting for me. Now it’s taunting me. Perhaps that will get me through the 200 and some odd pages remaining.

For those who voted for me to finish, I am a woman of my word. I will do it, however begrudgingly.  Once I am done, I will also write about it honestly. So, if by some slim chance I end up liking this bullshit, I will tell you that I liked it. BUT if it continues to suck, my review will contain as many four letter words as possible.

I do know one thing, Crisis will be the last time I tolerate the uncreative, plot-devouring, manga-robot mothafucka that is the Anti-Monitor. Brightest Day, consider yourself dropped from the pull-list.

It’s time to go rip this band-aid off.

Cover art by Dan LuVisi

Secret Six #20 played out like a well-acted revenge thriller. Catman reminded me of Liam Neeson in Taken. Those baddies effed with the wrong guy! Still, I wish Cheshire had come along to help with the revenge portion of the show. Maybe Gail will bring her around later. Let’s hope.

On the whole, this issue was fast-paced and full of that shock factor these characters are known for, and it set the stage for a hell of a story arc. Thanks again, Gail, for reminding me why I buy monthly issues instead of waiting for the trade.

Secret Six is one of the best books on comic store shelves right now, so I’m puzzling over the 2010 Eisner Award nominations. Based on conversations with my geek posse and articles about the nominees, it seems that most of the nods were totally deserved. However, I have a bone to pick with the judges in a specific category — Best Writer. The five MEN nominated were Ed Brubaker, Geoff Johns, James Robinson, Mark Waid and Bill Willingham. My thoughts:

I haven’t read anything by Brubaker or Waid, so I can’t give an opinion. I’ve heard from several fanboys that Brubaker’s Captain America and Waid’s Irredeemable are excellent. OK. Fine.

Willingham rocks. I LOVE Fables, and I’ve lost hours of sleep because I couldn’t put the trades down. His work is consistent and intriguing, so this nomination makes perfect sense to me.

Johns? Meh. Insert Greg Rucka instead. Sure, Johns is a solid writer, but I’ve never loved his work. The Flash: Rebirth was a snore. Blackest Night was a good time, but I’d liken it to Avatar getting the award for best movie at the Golden Globes over Inglourious Basterds. Johns is just so … mainstream.

(Deep Sigh) At the risk of beating a dead horse, I have to say it: James fucking Robinson got an Eisner Award nomination for the steaming load that was Justice League: Cry For Justice! What. The. Hell?! I’ll spare you the bullet points of why it sucked (click here and here and here AND here if you must know). The bottom line is that Robinson doesn’t deserve it, at least, not for this comic.

There are other writers who are more worthy of a nomination —writers like, I dunno, Gail Simone for Secret Six. Duh. Her writing in this book has been unwaveringly good, and every issue makes me laugh out loud. Secret Six is pure, debauched entertainment, and I love it.

Robinson is up against some heavy hitters, so surely he can’t win. But Ms. Simone’s absence from the ballot is both a mystery and a damned shame.

To paraphrase our friend Shag of Once Upon a Geek, sometimes our hobby hurts us and it doesn’t love us back. That’s a pretty good summary of how I felt last week when V. dropped the news that Greg Rucka, one of our favorite comic book writers, was parting ways with DC.

I’m running out of ways to say how much this sucks. Rucka’s run on Wonder Woman was, in my opinion, second only to George Perez’s 1980s reboot — and a close one. Along with artist J.H. Williams III, he created a killer origin story for Batwoman via Detective Comics, which was easily one of the best stories I read last year. I was looking forward to their rumored reunion on a standalone Batwoman comic, and I was frankly crushed to learn that he wouldn’t be stepping in for Gail Simone once she departs Wonder Woman.

I know Rucka has his critics, and I’ve heard all the lame jokes about how he specializes in troubled lesbians. (No one ever jokes about Geoff Johns specializing in idealized white guys, but I digress.) To many a fangirl, he is one of a handful of writers who not only gets strong, female characters, but seems to genuinely like them. In a candid interview with Comics Alliance, Rucka shed some light an an issue that V. and I have talked about many times — people who either dislike Wonder Woman outright or don’t know what the hell to do with her: “A lot of the guys who have written her don’t like her; they just want to f–k her. … And people want to simplify her, so they go, ‘She’s Superman with tits.’ No, she’s not.”

As RuPaul would say, “Can I get an amen?”

I’ll leave it to others to speculate about the reasons behind Rucka’s departure, though he certainly has a lot of other cool projects on his plate. I’m willing to believe that the man simply has other stories he wants to tell, and that he’s looking for new challenges as a writer. But … but … but. While talking about the Batwoman stories he and Williams had hoped to do, Rucka said something that stopped me in my tracks: ” ‘Elegy’ was supposed to be four issues; there were supposed to be three issues that were ‘Go,’ and then there was a five-part story that Jim and I had, but because of a variety of things in-house at DC, we were moved out of Detective [Comics] and we couldn’t tell the story there.”

Seriously? He and Williams were moved off of Detective Comics, despite making it one of DC’s most buzzworthy books of 2009? What the hell?!

Anyone who reads comics for any length of time is going to be disappointed by something — a character dies, a beloved writer or artist moves on, an awesome book is cancelled. That’s life. But something about this announcement, on top of recent DC bombshells about Wonder Woman and Power Girl, put me in a seriously foul mood. Aside from Gail’s return to Birds of Prey, I can’t think of a single upcoming DC event that I’m genuinely excited about — and that makes me wonder whether it’s time to back away from the caped entertainment and start exploring more independent comics.

I’m tempted to say that I might be expecting too much, but my standard for comics is no higher than it is for any other form of entertainment. And thanks to dream teams like Rucka and Williams, among others, I know what comic books are truly capable of.

Twilight: The Graphic Novel
Volume 1
Stephenie Meyer
Art & Adaptation by Young Kim
Yen Press

This is a big week for the Twilight franchise with the release of The Twilight Saga: New Moon DVD and Twilight: The Graphic Novel. I pre-ordered both, and I’ve been hitting up the UPS site regularly to track my packages. I was beyond thrilled on Wednesday when I saw that the graphic novel had been delivered. After a minor battle with my daughter over who was going to read it first, my wait was … almost over. I acquiesced once I realized I was being a bit of a brat. (HEY! Don’t judge me. Twilight is a hell of a drug.) Besides, her bedtime is way before mine. I knew I’d get to be alone with my precious soon enough. Volume 1 offers up the first half of the Twilight story. Here’s the good, the meh, and the ugly.

The Ugly
Worst speech bubbles ever! What the hell? They’re awkwardly placed on the page, and they’re so obnoxious-looking that they often overshadow the artwork. And isn’t the art the whole point of a graphic novel? This should have been called Twilight: The Graphic Novel with STUPID, UGLY, SPEECH BUBBLES. They even have these weird squiggly lines denoting who is speaking, but because of the bizarre placement, that didn’t help me make sense of things. All I got were ugly squiggly lines over the art I had paid to enjoy. Considering how much money this franchise has made, couldn’t the publisher have sprung for a letterer? Oh, how I have taken for the lettering for granted in my comic books. I had no idea how crucial it is to an illustrated medium’s authenticity and visual atmosphere. All hail the letterer! And fuck Yen Press for typing it up in Times New Roman and Monotype Corsiva. Cheap Basterds.

Edward, Bella, and dumb, ugly speech bubbles in biology class

The Meh
Though I read comics and graphic novels constantly, I’m not that familiar with Manga or the nuances of Manga style. So the entire time I’m reading the book, I’m thinking, “What the hell is that damn teardrop thing Bella’s always got on her face?” I now know that is used to show anxiety, embarrassment or insecurity. Let’s just say it was a permanent fixture.

Much of the background detail, with the exception of “The Meadow” (thank friggin’ goodness), is done in a photorealistic style. I’m not sure if this was just another example of Yen Press’ stinginess, or if the artist isn’t great at backgrounds. Twilight fans can be obsessive, so I can imagine someone — maybe author Stephanie Meyer herself, saying, “Let’s put a real image of Forks High School, and do some cel-shading. Those crazy Twihards will love that.” Whatever the reason, these panels left me lukewarm. Part of my huge excitement about this graphic novel stemmed from the potential for some beautiful, distinctive interpretations of scenes from the original book — not a damn gray-scale, shaded photo of a silver Volvo on a Washington highway. Perhaps I should learn to draw.

The Good (Spoilers ahead!)
No matter how many times I watch the Twilight movie, it just doesn’t give me the ultimate high of the book it’s based on. Where the movie fails, the graphic novel delivers. The graphic novel doesn’t have to pander to Hollywood and time limits. This adaptation maintains the integrity of the story, and I got ALL of my favorite quotes. I also got so see many scenes I had only imagined before: Bella contemplatively staring in the bathroom mirror, blood-typing in biology, cooking dinner for Charlie and dreaming about Edward. I got to see the lemonade bottle-top, Bella’s decisive meditation in the forest, the new-age hippie lady in the bookstore and the conversation in Edward’s Volvo on the way back from Port Angeles. It was a joy to see those scenes.

I also thought the characters were drawn very well. Kim did an excellent job of staying true to Meyer’s descriptions. There are some beautiful splash pages, and the Manga technique of speed lines works perfectly when Edward demonstrates his vampire prowess. The best part, by far, is the meadow scenery. Since Forks is this gloomy place with little to no sun, the entire book is gray-scaled. But once Bella and Edward climb the mountain and step into the meadow, the sun shines gloriously — in color. In fact, these are the only panels that are done in color, and it works. Of course, there’s a full color splash page of Edward as he steps into the sun and sparkles. It is quite perfect.

Verdict
I’d expected better quality overall, given the vast amounts of cash this series is raking in. The apparent corner-cutting gave me a twinge of disappointment. That aside, the book manages to convey all of the important aspects of the story, but not as intensely as the original book. My opinion is that the graphic novel is a better choice for young girls who are dying to read Twilight. Did I enjoy it? Yeah — but that was kind of inevitable.

By now you’ve probably heard all about the outcome of Justice League: Cry for Justice. DC’s resident douchebag, Oliver Queen, killed Prometheus with an arrow to the head. In my opinion, Prometheus deserved to die. He annoyed me anyway, and anyone who can make Lady Shiva run away from a fight (channeling my best British accent) BOTHERS me. I won’t miss him one bit.

Prometheus’ death was the only shining moment in Cry for Justice, which is one of the most sucktastic stories I’ve ever read, rivaled only by Chuck Dixon’s Birds of Prey run (and, OK, Trinity). There were times when I was so irritated that I just wanted to throw the book at the wall.

Case in point: In issue #5, Ollie shows up on the JLA satellite after having been gone for who knows how long chasing leads to find Prometheus. There is a moment between him and Dinah that made me want to claw my eyes out. She sort of pulls him aside and asks him where he’s been. He blows her off, and she gives a codependent monologue about how she’s lost faith in herself without his cheating, arrow-toting ass.

The panel doubles the cheese factor by showing a single tear running down Dinah’s face, followed by a wildly disrespectful retort from Green Arrow.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Look, I realize Dinah and Ollie are married, but that reaction was bullshit. I mean, after all the things Dinah has endured because of her relationship with this guy, she would hardly turn into a crybaby because he ran off with Hal Jordan for a spell. Portraying such an incredibly strong, capable character as “lost” without this man makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth. I am so over her being an accessory to Ollie.

DC, I sincerely hope that Green Arrow’s status as a true cad and, now, a murderer, opens the door for Dinah to walk right out of this demeaning relationship. Please let Gail write up the divorce papers. Thaw her out from her time in the freezer, and then justice will be served.

I’ve made no secret of my admiration for Gail Simone. Her writing is smart, interesting and fun, and she can write the hell out of a kick-ass chick. Many of my favorite characters are so because of her capable hand in their development. At the top of that list is Lady Shiva. I’ll keep it real. I didn’t know much about Sandra Wu-San until she showed up in Birds of Prey. OK, I didn’t know much of anything before I read BoP, but there was a long list of supporting characters throughout Simone’s arc. Shiva was my favorite by far.

As we’ve seen in Secret Six, no one does amoral with Gail’s flair. Amoral characters are intriguing because they do the things our conscience and social mores prevent us from doing. We get to live our fantasies through them, and their writers aren’t limited by pesky issues like virtue. Plus, Shiva is a straight-up beast. She’s kicked more asses than you’ve read comics. She’s fast, ingenious, wicked, and not at all afraid to die. That final fact alone makes her a force to be reckoned with. I firmly believe that she could defeat Deathstroke (See previous poll). All Shiva needs is a two-second window, and he’s done for — genetic engineering be damned. Shiva would engineer a beatdown.

To drive the point home, here are some of my favorite Lady Shiva quotes:

“I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.” – The Question #29

“I am not allowing you to pass out. I want your men to see you beg. Then you will apologize with a pain you will remember always.” – Birds of Prey #62

“All this ceremony, and the truth is: the body decays, the spirit is lost. It means nothing. Ashes or earth, I hardly see the significance of where they lay your corpse.” – Birds of Prey #68

“If you ever touch me again, I shall shatter three bones in your arm: the humerus, the radius, and the ulna. I shall shatter them in such a way that shards will protrude into the nerves, causing intense pain! I shall shatter them in such a way that no Western doctor will be able to repair them. Your arm will thereafter dangle from your shoulder like a dead fish. Do you understand?”

And my favorite:

“Perhaps death is just a little bit afraid of me.” – Birds of Prey #63

So, I’m riding the wave of Shiva-is-a-bad-ass-bitch, and as per usual, once she was out of Gail’s hands, someone added suckage to her repertoire. I realize this is part of the multiple-writers nature of comics. I’m not that bitter. But chocolate? As in, Robin (Tim Drake) defeats Shiva by sending her some drug-laced chocolate? Really? Bullshit!

I seriously doubt that a world-class mercenary/martial artist with so many enemies would even consider eating a piece of hotel chocolate. As E. pointed out, “She’s probably on a macrobiotic diet.” The poisoned chocolate was a flimsy attempt at strengthening Tim’s character, I guess because he and Shiva have a past. But honestly, who gives a fuck? This did a major disservice to Shiva’s character. Her sister was murdered, and her daughter broke her neck. Bottom line: Shiva should get more respect than that. As Black Canary put it, “In some countries, being killed by her brings eternal honor to your entire surviving family.”

With books coming back from the “dead” and all, we have The Question #37 written by Greg Rucka. Now, I almost love Rucka as much as I love Simone. He also understands the kick-ass chick. We’ll get to see my favorite DCU lesbian, Renee Montoya, a Black Lantern Vic Sage and (here’s the part that’s got me salivating) an appearance by Lady Shiva. She’s already got a past with Vic. Throw Montoya in the mix, and a few interesting worlds collide. Renee vs. Shiva? I’d like to see that mashup! Rucka had this to say, “[Shiva's] just entirely amoral and committed to her path. … She doesn’t care what you think, ever.” Color me blue, because THAT gives me hope.

There are few things I love more than comics. They are rich with iconic characters that I’ve always loved, from Wonder Woman to the more obscure but fascinating anti-hero Lady Shiva. And oh, how I love the art; so many ways to draw a character, an emotion, an action. Add to that the stories and the ingenious writers who bring them to life every month. Comic books opened up a whole new world to me; Wednesdays at my LCS, lunches with my fellow aficionados, blogging, designing my own character and just hours of pure entertainment. If you visited my home and viewed my bookshelf, you would find, first & foremost, comics so good I had to get the trades (my issues are of course bagged, boarded and stored safely in their long boxes), some modern and contemporary philosophy, Vector Prime and other science fiction. But the most ostentatious thing on my shelf (drumroll): All four books in the Twilight saga.

Blasphemy you say?  Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been deemed a heretic.  Why should this be any different?

I get a lot of flack for being a Twihard (yeah I said it!) from my fellow geeks. So do the millions of other fans of the series. I read blog after blog, article after article and hear endless podcasts about how much the geek world loathes the series and how it (and fans) didn’t belong at the cons. Frankly, iamoverit.org/getaclue!

The “Twilight” books are 2,000 pages of pure deliciousness. The story is overwhelmingly character-centric (*cough like comics cough*) with some fantastic players: Bella, the self-deprecating, clumsy teenage girl who is also an excellent student unaffected by peer pressure; Alice – the empathetic, fashionista, pre-cog vamp who can snap a neck before you can blink an eye; Emmett the uber likable, honest, football-loving vampire next door. Even the baddies are divinely designed. Aro, the 3,000-year-old maniacal but perfectly couth head of the Volturi can read every thought you’ve ever had with a touch. Can you say, “Gangsta?”

Then, there is Edward. Impeccably mannered, well dressed, infinitely intelligent, protective, and genuinely interested in the person that Bella is. Swoon (duh). And don’t give me that creepy stalker shit about Edward. Um, he is still a VAMPIRE. (And if you’re going to call him out, then why not bash Supes for watching Lois sleep? Even worse and much more blatant are the rape and other acts of violence against women that occur in “Watchmen” and “The League of Extraordinary Women,” written by our favorite misogynist Alan Moore. Just saying.)

Aside from the characters, the scenery is like butter for the imagination. The Pacific Northwest, Alaska, Italy, an island off the coast of South America. All these juicy bits swirled into an against-all-odds love story with super-powered vamps, Native American shape shifters, and a shit ton of hybrid lore. Zang, baby!!!

Besides, there are plenty of things about “Twilight” that qualify it as “Geek.”

Super Powers: These are powers that were either latent or subdued when they were human, but manifested themselves after a catalyst set off the transformation (vampire venom = genetic mutation), then powers manifested. Yeah, that is nothing like Marvel’s mutant powers that are latent until puberty, or the TV show “Heroes,” where the “fight or flight” adrenal response triggers the powers. The wolves begin phasing in New Moon…right after puberty due to vampires in the vicinity.

The God-Human Love Story: Supes and Lois. Diana and Steve. Black Adam and Adrianna.  Phoenix and Cyclops. Thor and Jane. Talia and Bruce. EDWARD and BELLA.

Outcast teens with a secret: Xavier’s school. Teen Titans. Runaways. Twilight.

Benevolent alien who wants to peacefully coexist with humans: Do I really even have to itemize this?

All of these elements have pleased superhero fans for years. So why wouldn’t the ladies enjoy it, too?  But more to the point, these are common threads.

Twihaters’ biggest gripe, though, is the revamping of classic vampire lore.  All they hear is “sparkle,” and their fucking brains go catatonic.  Then they move on to the default response of ridicule. To that I say, “Really? Can’t you be a little more flexible? Surely you are capable after dealing with decades of retcons.”

So what if Edward can go out in the sun? I’m pretty sure Blade was a daywalker. How is that more offensive than the constant retconning in comics? Remember last year’s big Final Crisis event, where Batman was “killed” by Darkseid’s Omega Beams, but then we saw him alive drawing on a cave wall (sometime in the past) over Anthro’s dead body? And somehow, Black Hand could raise his “corpse” for a hot second in Blackest Night #5 to elicit an emotional response out of the JLA players. I’m sure DC is going to tie it all together … or maybe they won’t, and they will retcon half of “Final Crisis” and use the rest. Now THAT is infuriating.

Stephenie Meyer brought fresh eyes to the vampire story. (And it’s not like she doesn’t give any explanation whatsoever, like some comic book editors I can think of.)  Meyer’s deviations are on the classic limitations of vampires: unconscious periods, sunlight, crosses, garlic, holy water, wooden stakes, etc. “These are all myths – deliberately placed in earlier centuries to mislead impressionable humans and make them feel safe.”  Seriously, that’s good stuff.  In a world ridden with paranoia-induced conspiracy theories, that concept — believing you’re safe when you’re really not — is real-world scary.

Since most of the naysayers haven’t actually read the series, they are unaware that much of the “Twilight” lore that they criticize is specific to the Cullens. Yes, they are benevolent vampires who feed on animal blood, but they are an anomaly in their world.  All the other vampires are evil, human-eating monsters. And jeez, the “Buffy”-loving geeks didn’t have a problem with Angel having a damn soul! I’d like to know what happened to “willful suspension of disbelief?”  After all, it’s just fiction, people!

Domestically, the “Twilight” movie franchise has grossed  $255 million and $500 million worldwide as of December 7.  This is only the third week of release. We still have two (maybe three) movies to go.  The Twilight saga is going down in Hollywood history as a force to be reckoned with among the ranks of “Batman,” “Star Wars,” “Harry Potter” and “The Lord of the Rings.” Period.

Get wise, guys. Twihards are a force to be reckoned with. We are geeks; we are smart; we have epic buying power — and we LOVE Edward.  His intensity, his etiquette and his devotion make our panties wet. You might learn a thing or two from him. I say get on board and get laid. If not, you are just going to have to suck up the sparkle. SUNSHINE!