Category Archives: WTF

WTF? Wednesday: Punishing Diana

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In the world of many superheroes, killing a villain is verboten. Theoretically, doing so would undermine their moral authority and blur the line between angels and demons — even if the target is a cold-blooded murderer with no remorse and a high recidivism rate. Better to break a few of the bad guy’s bones and ship him or her off to the nearest prison or high-security facility for sociopaths. Right? Not always. Sometimes a character does something so heinous and/or is such a threat to society that a hero is justified in choosing the nuclear option. Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Justice Served Cold – Or Toasted!

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Borrowed from the Aquaman Shrine

For many a geek, food ads featuring superheroes were integral to the childhood comic-reading experience. In between scenes of Wonder Woman whupping Nazis, you’d see spots for Hostess fruit pies — usually illustrated as nicely as the main story itself — starring Justice League members. Those ads are considered retro comedy gold now, but my 8-year-old self rather enjoyed them. Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Longsuffering Sue

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Saying that Sue Storm has come a long way since the pre-feminist era is like saying Joan Rivers has had a little work done. While the portrayal of female characters was sketchy across the board in decades past, Sue was practically her own category. We know her today as an incredibly powerful heroine, a leader, and the most impressive working mom in comics, but the road to respect was paved with a whole lot of insults and condescension. The source was usually her husband, Reed Richards. Continue reading →

Fast Times at Riverdale High

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I hadn’t intended to write about anything Archie-related again so soon, but when my friend Craig sent me this link, well, it had to happen. Canadian sketch comedy group The Cross Eyed Bear, with the help of donors from the Vancouver film industry, put together a brilliant, live-action movie trailer that imagines the Archie gang as live fast, die young types. Imagine Less than Zero plus Skins plus Archie’s Digest, and you’ve got the R-rated parody gem simply titled Riverdale. Reggie does coke, Jughead reveals his crush on Archie with disastrous results, and Moose is in a murderous rage over a Midge-Chuck hookup. It’s as genius as it is disturbing. You’ll never look at Dilton quite the same way again. I would totally pay money to see this fully-realized movie.

WTF? Wednesday: Three’s Company

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If a picture says a thousand words, the World’s Finest covers of yore are entire novels. Faulkner novels. As in, engrossing and deeply troubling.  While this storied title was innocent, action-packed fun for generations of comic book-loving kids, things look very different when viewed from an adult perspective. It’s like when you look at H.R. Pufnstuf clips on YouTube and realize that it’s one big LSD endorsement. Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Bottoms Up!

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Corporeal punishment was once considered an acceptable form of discipline, and apparently, it wasn’t just for naughty young’uns. During the golden, silver, and even bronze ages, everyone from Superman to uppity dames were getting their bottoms smacked — and some of ‘em liked it. Look, what grown folks do is their business. But the flagrantly sexist images, combined with the shock of seeing Superman bent over Dwight Eisenhower’s lap, is enough to make a person seek therapy. Check out our ass-centric gallery, and keep your shrink’s number handy.

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WTF? Wednesday: Neigh, I Say!

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Like the song says: Don't ride the white horse.

DC fans like to joke about how Grant Morrison’s mind-bending stories often seem influenced by, shall we say, exotic substances. But Morrison’s got nothing on the Silver Age scribes who were responsible for some of the nuttiest comic book stories ever printed. One of the best examples? Comet the freakin’ Super-Horse. Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Silly Dames In Love

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Really?

There’s a whole other commenatary — a book, really — to be written about the phenomenon of romance comics that were published from the 1940s through the ’70s. It’s a bizarre, fascinating, sexist genre that is ripe for examination and analysis. But for now, let’s take a look at one of the grooviest: Marvel Comics’ My Love #14: “It happened at Woodstock!” Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: You Better Work, Jimmy!

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We knew Jimmy Olsen was handy with a camera, but who knew the Daily Planet photojournalist had such a tight drag game? Superman’s loyal friend has quite the history of cross-dressing, and I gotta say, he’s pretty damn good at it. Take this panel from Jimmy Olsen #95, in which he goes undercover in hopes of busting some jewel thieves/racketeers. He’s so convincing that other men sexually harass him! Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Boys Will Be Boys

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Making fun of vintage Batman and Robin scenarios is like shooting fish in a barrel. With an AK-47. It’s just too easy, and I’m convinced that the writers and artists responsible for these gems knew exactly what they were doing. After all, these were young, creative guys hanging out in smoke-filled studios in New York — the working-class equivalent of “Mad Men.” (“You know what’d be hilarious? What if we showed Dick Grayson crying like a jilted lover because Batman has a new squeeze? Oh, and let’s see how many times we can use the word ‘boner’ before people catch on.”) Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: The Fantastic Four Movie You Didn’t See

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At the risk of offending Jessica Alba fans the world over, I think most people will agree that the last two Fantastic Four films were pointlesss. Aside from Chris Evans’ fun performance as Johnny Storm, the movies didn’t exactly set the world on fire, pun intended. However, an earlier movie adaptation of the Fantastic Four apparently made Tim Story’s version look like Iron Man by comparison. Continue reading →

WTF? Wednesday: Sin-Less

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We all know women (or men) who, despite showing excellent judgment in every other aspect of their lives, continue putting up with a loser significant other. It doesn’t matter now many times the loser SO confirms that s/he is a horse’s ass. The longsuffering partner will continue to forgive the offending party and, worse, take him or her back.

SIGH.

This familiar scenario was taken to the extreme in the fall of 2007, when our girl Dinah consented to marry off-on squeeze and very bad boy Oliver Queen/Green Arrow. Her acceptance monologue was an amazing feat of rationalization, especially under the circumstances in Black Canary #4. In an effort to save Dinah and her beloved adopted daughter Sin from the League of Assassins, Ollie orchestrated a plan that involved faking Sin’s death and having his son, Connor, escort her to a secluded monastery. He allowed Dinah to believe that Sin had been killed so that her grief would appear authentic to the League. She not only forgave Ollie for this act, but also spun some bullshit about how, after a lifetime of selfishness, he finally did something decent. Continue reading →