Girls Gone Geek

Batman: Under the Red Hood
Rating: PG-13
Director: Brandon Vietti
Writer: Judd Winick
Starring: Bruce Greenwood, Jensen Ackles, John DiMaggio, Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Isaacs

If you’ve been a geek for any length of time, you’ve likely encountered your Scott and Jean — a comic book topic that makes you so angry that you can’t discuss it without going completely off. I’m not talking casual disdain, but full, frightening-the-children rage. As someone who was deeply affected by Batman: A Death in the Family when it was originally published, I’d long considered Jason Todd’s return from the grave to be my Scott and Jean. Especially since said return has often amounted to little more than violent douchery. (Big spoilers ahead.)

While I eventually reached a sort of Zen acceptance about Jason’s resurrection, I had no intention of watching, let alone enjoying, the animated film adaptation of Judd Winick’s Batman: Under the Red Hood. My husband ordered it On Demand, and after a long day, I simply didn’t have the will to get off the couch. The bottom line: Jason’s presence remains problematic in a bigger sense, but it works surprisingly well in a self-contained story. And despite the inherent cheapness of bringing characters back from the dead, Under the Red Hood has some truly gripping moments that evoke the raw sadness of A Death in the Family.

Nothing annoys Bruce Wayne like a fellow vigilante, particularly one who has no problem capping criminals. So when a nouveau Red Hood shows up in Gotham City and starts blowing shit up, Bruce and Dick Grayson (still Nightwing in this context) go after him. Even if you’re not familiar with the Judd Winick-penned comics the movie is based on, it doesn’t take much to figure out Mr. Hood’s identity. After all, the story is punctuated with flashbacks of Bruce and Jason’s time together as Batman and Robin, including the latter’s sickening death at the Joker’s hand. That scene alone is worthy of a PG-13 rating, so make no mistake: Under the Red Hood is not appropriate for small or sensitive children.

Speaking of the Joker, John DiMaggio’s voice work as the cackling menace to society is excellent. His delivery is alternately ha-ha funny and ha-ha-now-he’s-freaking-me-out creepy. Bruce Greenwood is a solid Batman, and you can never go wrong with Neil Patrick Harris, who gives voice to Nightwing. Jensen Ackles is fine, if not memorable, as Jason Todd. The animation is well executed, and it’s more fluid than some of the earlier DC direct-to-DVD offerings.

Under the Red Hood is sure to rekindle the conversation about Batman’s no-killing code, particularly where the Joker is concerned. As the Red Hood himself puts it, we’re not talking about Penguin or Harvey Dent (Two-Face), but a serial, gleeful murderer who beat an adolescent to death and put Barbara Gordon in a wheelchair. Seriously; go back and look at those panels of the Joker clubbing Jason with a crowbar and tell me that guy doesn’t deserve far worse than a presidential suite at Arkham. (Gee, maybe THIS is my Scott and Jean.) I get Bruce’s concern about tumbling into the abyss, but somehow, I think he’d be OK. And this being DC, it’d only be a matter of time before the Joker came back to life!

My non-geek spouse, who completely dug this movie, had the advantage of being able to view it without the continuity baggage. We both agreed that the final scene is real heart-tugger, but it also reminded me of what an awkward position Jason Todd now occupies within the DC Universe. Considering all he’s been through — including the readers’ decision to off him in the first place — I can’t help but think he deserves more than a gold Crazy Medal.

For just one moment, let’s put aside the fact that Christian Bale, a very good actor, is already playing Batman, and the third Bat-movie is already on track.

John Hamm was born to play Bruce Wayne.

It’s so obvious, and yet it didn’t occur to me until I was in the middle of a “Mad Men” marathon a few weeks ago. If you’ve watched the show, you know that Hamm’s portrayal of tortured soul/sexy scoundrel Don Draper is one of the best things on television. There are already so many elements of classic Bruce Wayne in Draper, a ‘60s-era Manhattan ad man with more secrets than a Hollywood starlet’s plastic surgeon. Besides, we know Hamm has love for the geeks, as demonstrated by his Funny or Die video turn as Lex Luthor.

And just look at the man. In a tux. Meow! (Warning: Images may cause spontaneous drooling.)

In the “Batman” movie of my dreams, Hamm would play an older, wearier Dark Knight in a more classic bat-suit and setting. While origin stories make financial sense for studios, they’re also kinda played out. It’s potentially much more interesting to see a character after the superhero bloom is off the rose. When you’ve spent years fighting twisted villains like the Joker, Hush and Scarecrow, how does that affect your relationships with other people, to say nothing of your psyche? And what happens when you’re cruising toward middle age and your body, however rigorously trained, has taken repeated beatings? In Batman’s case, the results rarely have been pretty, but often gripping.

This isn’t intended as a slam of Bale, who has been a perfectly solid Batman. However, I think a quieter, more mature-skewing version of Bruce Wayne’s story would appeal to a lot of moviegoers, especially with the talented Hamm on board. Must every cape movie be based on the (presumed) fantasies of 15-year-old boys? And yes, I’m aware that this idea probably has zero chance of becoming a reality. A gal can dream.

As long as I’m playing studio overlord, I’m casting Christina Hendricks, who plays “Mad Men” bombshell office manager Joan Holloway, as Vicki Vale. Hollywood, if you insist on pimping the same A-list heroes over and over, at least make it interesting.

No joke. We can see it.

The hilarious NBC sitcom “Community” is on a short list of things we love as much as reading comic books. So cast member Donald Glover — aka junior college jock, Troy — had G3 at biblioteca when he began campaigning for the Peter Parker role in the forthcoming “Spider-Man” film reboot. Glover is a gem on a show filled with them, and the studio would be smart to take his interest seriously. The fact that he’s African American isn’t an obstacle — it’s an opportunity to breathe new life into a movie franchise that’s grown a little tired. Here’s why putting Glover in red and blue tights makes perfect sense:

Filmgoers need a reason to care.
The last movie in the Tobey Maguire-led trilogy was released just three years ago, so when news of a reboot began circling a few months ago, even hardcore geeks were asking, “Why?” Spider-Man hasn’t been gone long enough for us to miss him, and there’s a big cloud of been-there-done-that hanging over this idea. Casting someone unexpected — like a nonwhite actor — would certainly heighten filmgoers’ interest, and you could do worse than a guy on a critically acclaimed TV show.

Glover’s a good actor.
When you can hold your own in a scene with Chevy Chase, you’re obviously doing something right. Comedic acting is harder than it looks, and Glover’s take on Troy, a less-than-brilliant former high school football star, is endearing and frequently LOL funny. He’s handsome but accessible in that boy-next-door way, and Glover could easily amp up the intelligence to play reluctant superhero Peter Parker. He’d be awfully cute in glasses, not to mention the suit.

Spidey is familiar enough to re-imagine.
With three very recent live-action movies on DVD shelves, Spider-Man is well known to the general public — so familiar that taking him in a direction shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Besides …

Kids don’t care that much.
On an Around Comics podcast several months ago, one of the panelists mentioned that his nephew, who is white, had this reaction to Ryan Reynolds’ casting as Green Lantern: “Green Lantern’s white now? Aw, man.” This kid had grown up on the Justice League Cartoon Network series, in which the resident Green Lantern is a black man, John Stewart. I could be wrong, but the racial freak-outs — at least as far as entertainment goes — seem to be more of an adult specialty.

Peter is an outsider.
Peter Parker’s origin story is full of teen-outsider angst, and take it from me: Few things are more ‘outside’ than a black, adolescent geek. Glover could take that aspect of Parker’s life in a whole ’nother direction.

While we’re on this topic, can the filmmakers please cast a better Mary Jane this time around? It would be cool for the studio to cast a talented, non-white performer in that role, too, but that (unfortunately) might be asking too much. If so, I hereby nominate cute-as-a-button Alison Brie, another fabulous “Community” cast member. She and Glover have such good chemistry, and in her recurring role on “Mad Men,” she’s proven that she can do drama as well as comedy. Bring on the Clairol #44 red hair coloring, and it’s a wrap. Hollywood, you’re welcome!

Well, damn.

On the Entertainment Weekly website, writer Darrin Franich sparked a lively debate by suggesting that Beyonce play the lead in a yet-to-be-greenlit Wonder Woman movie. It’s not an entirely new discussion: In 2008, the megastar herself said that she’d love to rock Diana’s tiara, and that a black Wonder Woman would make a powerful, 21^st-Century statement.

We at G3 are not Beyonce haters. She’s a gorgeous, talented entertainer, and no one would be happier than me to see a black woman in a superhero film. Not that one of the world’s biggest stars needs my stamp of approval, but even with all of B.’s assets, I can’t get behind this idea.

She’d certainly look great in the costume, and I know our society is supposed to be all post-racial now. (And let me know how that’s going, because there seems to be plenty of hostile, openly racist commentary on this topic.) However, Wonder Woman is an iconic figure who has been white for 70 years. In order for Jane and Joe Moviewatcher to get past that, any nonwhite actress who played the lead would have to be amazing. Kenneth Branagh was criticized for casting Idris Elba as a Norse deity in the upcoming “Thor” movie, but guess what? Idris Elba is an established actor, and a really good one. He isn’t a singer who’s still learning the acting craft.

Beyonce’s acting has gotten better, but it’s still not good enough to take on one of the best-known superheroes of all time — especially one who is so woefully overdue for a major, live-action movie. Besides, every time B. gets a juicy film role, I can’t help but think that someone with better chops was cheated. It’s not like Hollywood has that many brown actresses on speed-dial to begin with, and Beyonce doesn’t exactly need the work or the exposure.

Alas, life and movies aren’t fair, I wouldn’t boycott a Wonder Woman movie just because I disagreed with the casting. Plenty of filmgoers — including my husband — would happily buy a ticket to see Beyonce in that tiara, and her acting ability probably wouldn’t have much to do with it.

What’s your take on the casting debate?

With all due respect to Green Lantern and Batman, the live-action superhero movie DC/Warner Brothers ought to be making isn’t really about heroes at all. Two words: Secret. Six.

Aside from being one of the most consistently good mainstream comics around, the current incarnation of Secret Six is a carnival ride of moral ambiguity; wildly amusing yet sickening. While darkness seems to plague this colorful cast wherever they go (Junior, Devil’s Island, *shudder*), there’s also plenty of humor and the perfect Hollywood cliché of stuff just … blowing up. That’s a filmmaker and casting director’s dream (or at least the dream of the alternate universe versions of V and I that make movies).

Let’s face it; a smaller, off-kilter movie about a group of rogues stands a better chance of being good — or at least interesting — than any live-action Justice League movie a studio would whip up. (I’m not saying I don’t want to see a live-action JL movie, but I just don’t see how it could possibly be done well.)

We’ve got our own ideas about casting Secret Six: The Movie, but first we want to hear yours.  Who’s your big-screen dream team to portray Bane, Jeanette, Catman, Deadshot, Ragdoll and Scandal Savage — or Knockout or Black Alice?



Rating: PG-13
Directors: Lauren Montgomery, Sam Liu
Writer: Dwayne McDuffie
Starring: William Baldwin, Mark Harmon, Chris Noth, Gina Torres and James Woods

There’s an interesting premise at the core of the new DC animated movie “Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths:” Every choice we make results in an alternate reality, creating endless variations of ourselves that range from virtually identical to unrecognizable. “Crisis” isn’t nearly as complex a film as that idea suggests, but fortunately, seeing Justice League members take on their evil doubles never gets old.

Thanks to a (mostly) strong vocal cast and some wicked action scenes, “Crisis on Two Earths” is a perfectly respectable addition to DC’s recent lineup of direct-to-DVD films. (Spoilers ahead!) Seeking to defeat the mafia-like Crime Syndicate, Earth-2’s benevolent Lex Luthor — voiced by Chris Noth, who will always be Mr. Big to us — travels across dimensions to get the Justice League’s help. As usual, everyone’s in except Batman, who is inexplicably voiced by Billy Baldwin. Was Alec not available?

Aided by their stable of “made men,” the Crime Syndicate rules with an iron fist that has cowed even the U.S. President of Earth-2: Deathstroke! OK, he’s “President Slade Wilson” here, but it’s a hoot to see him re-imagined as the ultimate public servant. Superman’s Earth-2 counterpart, Ultraman, is a meathead who appears to be fond of guyliner, and Power Ring (evil Green Lantern) comes across as a young Paulie Walnuts in Spandex. In a nice twist on our BatWondy fantasy, Superwoman is coupled with none other than Owlman, whose dick-ish lines are delivered with expert menace by James Woods. When Superwoman slinks into his lair, Owlman greets her by saying, “I thought I told you to call first.”

It turns out that Owlman is less interested in conquering Earth than destroying it and all its alternate versions. As the Justice League and Good Lex race to stop him, we’re treated to some nifty cameos (Firestorm, Black Canary and Aquaman) and several choice moments. Batslut that I am, I got a kick out of watching the Dark Knight respond to Superwoman’s advances by biting her — and probably not the way she hoped he would. Wonder Woman has some of the movie’s best fight scenes, and the explanation of how she wound up with that invisible airplane is pretty clever.

“Crisis” also makes a convincing case for Martian Manhunter as a heartthrob. V. now has a crush on Mr. J’onzz, whose mind-reading skills and bodyguard services lead to a brief romance with Earth-2’s Rose Wilson. Let’s just say that the Martian way of showing affection makes kissing look about as erotic as a high-five.

“Crisis on Two Earths” doesn’t have the epic feel of “Justice League: The New Frontier,” but it’s a solidly entertaining DVD that’s worth seeing, especially with the inclusion of the chillingly retro “Spectre” special feature. Grade: B

As a parent, I feel compelled to say that I do not condone murderous, vigilante shenanigans and extreme, “Deadwood”-style swearing by children. OK?

That being said, the “Kick-Ass” trailer showcasing the foul-mouthed, cap-busting 11-year-old character Hit-Girl is bananas. My friend T., who studied film in college, described it perfectly as “One of the most appalling movie clips I’ve ever seen, and one of the most awesome.” I haven’t read Mark Millar’s “Kick-Ass” comic, but based on this clip alone, I kinda wish the movie was just about Hit-Girl.

There’s been some discussion of whether 12-year-old Chloe Moretz’s bloody turn as a pint-sized assassin is yet another sign of our depraved, hell-in-a-handbasket times. Obviously, in real life, a child (or anyone) shooting folks in the face is horrifying. But personally, I find the success of the “Saw” franchise and child beauty pageants far more troubling than this clip for a movie that is so not for kids. As V. put it, if you replaced Moretz with Charlize Theron, it would just be another action flick. (I also wonder if people would be less disturbed by Hit Boy. Anybody remember how 10-year-old Damian Wayne decapitated a criminal and then tried to put Tim Drake on ice in “Son of Batman?” I’m just saying.)

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the ’70s when Jodie Foster and Brooke Shields were playing tween prostitutes and the original Bad News Bears cursed like sailors, but I can’t get into an End Times tizzy over this. If anything, the Hit-Girl clip stands in stark contrast to the chicks-as-victims stereotype we’ve seen a zillion times. I suppose you could make the case that an impressionable child could find the clip on YouTube and mimic the violence, but a kid who is roaming the Internet unsupervised will find a whole lot worse than this.

Given that the world is full of real children who are forced into the unthinkable — child soldiers come to mind — wringing our hands over a fictional character’s acts of cartoon violence seems a bit silly. As Hit-Girl herself might put it, this made-to-shock clip is just %$#@ng with us.

Zoe Saldana landed on geeks’ radar screens in a major way via J.J. Abrams’ “Star Trek” movie last year, but she started showing the community some love as early as 2002. That’s the year she starred as Laila, the marching band dance team captain Nick Cannon wooed in “Drumline.” Yeah, the movie was set at a historically black college and suggested that band types could reach “Top Gun” levels of badassery, but there is nothing geekier than being in a marching band (I was) and taking it seriously (I did).

Saldana went on to rock the role of Uhura —and her minidress — with aplomb. Like the rest of that great cast, she paid homage to a beloved character while bringing something fresh and unexpected to the table. She’ll be getting her geek on again soon as the extraterrestrial lead, Neytiri, in James Cameron’s “Avatar.” I’ll be honest; I can’t tell whether that movie is going to be amazing or “Battlefield Earth” terrible. But whatever happens, I’m so happy that a minority actress (Saldana is of Dominican and Puerto Rican descent) is getting high-profile film work that doesn’t require her to act alongside a man in drag or simply act as a sounding board/best friend. I mean, when my daughter told me she wanted to dress up as Uhura next Halloween, I almost turned a cartwheel.

Interviews suggest that Saldana is not only comfortable with being, as the L.A. Times put it, “a queen of the Comic-Con tribe,” but genuinely stoked about it: “I’m very happy about that! I can’t think of better fans,” she told the paper. “These are people with a passion, and I love that. And science fiction is wonderful. We can’t limit our imagination, and that’s what science fiction never wants us to do.” (The interview, part of the L.A. Times‘ countdown to “Avatar,” is here.

Saldana would be my pick to play Agent 355 in Hollywood’s version of Brian K. Vaughan’s “Y: The Last Man” (I hear the studio wants Alicia Keys. No. No. Please. No.), and also she’d make a lovely Isis if DC-Warner Brothers were so inclined.

I’m looking forward to seeing how the “Star Trek” sequels develop Uhura’s character and her relationship with a certain Vulcan. And while the jury is out on “Avatar,” who am I kidding? I’m totally going to see it.

Rock on, Zoe!

There are few things I love more than comics. They are rich with iconic characters that I’ve always loved, from Wonder Woman to the more obscure but fascinating anti-hero Lady Shiva. And oh, how I love the art; so many ways to draw a character, an emotion, an action. Add to that the stories and the ingenious writers who bring them to life every month. Comic books opened up a whole new world to me; Wednesdays at my LCS, lunches with my fellow aficionados, blogging, designing my own character and just hours of pure entertainment. If you visited my home and viewed my bookshelf, you would find, first & foremost, comics so good I had to get the trades (my issues are of course bagged, boarded and stored safely in their long boxes), some modern and contemporary philosophy, Vector Prime and other science fiction. But the most ostentatious thing on my shelf (drumroll): All four books in the Twilight saga.

Blasphemy you say?  Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been deemed a heretic.  Why should this be any different?

I get a lot of flack for being a Twihard (yeah I said it!) from my fellow geeks. So do the millions of other fans of the series. I read blog after blog, article after article and hear endless podcasts about how much the geek world loathes the series and how it (and fans) didn’t belong at the cons. Frankly, iamoverit.org/getaclue!

The “Twilight” books are 2,000 pages of pure deliciousness. The story is overwhelmingly character-centric (*cough like comics cough*) with some fantastic players: Bella, the self-deprecating, clumsy teenage girl who is also an excellent student unaffected by peer pressure; Alice – the empathetic, fashionista, pre-cog vamp who can snap a neck before you can blink an eye; Emmett the uber likable, honest, football-loving vampire next door. Even the baddies are divinely designed. Aro, the 3,000-year-old maniacal but perfectly couth head of the Volturi can read every thought you’ve ever had with a touch. Can you say, “Gangsta?”

Then, there is Edward. Impeccably mannered, well dressed, infinitely intelligent, protective, and genuinely interested in the person that Bella is. Swoon (duh). And don’t give me that creepy stalker shit about Edward. Um, he is still a VAMPIRE. (And if you’re going to call him out, then why not bash Supes for watching Lois sleep? Even worse and much more blatant are the rape and other acts of violence against women that occur in “Watchmen” and “The League of Extraordinary Women,” written by our favorite misogynist Alan Moore. Just saying.)

Aside from the characters, the scenery is like butter for the imagination. The Pacific Northwest, Alaska, Italy, an island off the coast of South America. All these juicy bits swirled into an against-all-odds love story with super-powered vamps, Native American shape shifters, and a shit ton of hybrid lore. Zang, baby!!!

Besides, there are plenty of things about “Twilight” that qualify it as “Geek.”

Super Powers: These are powers that were either latent or subdued when they were human, but manifested themselves after a catalyst set off the transformation (vampire venom = genetic mutation), then powers manifested. Yeah, that is nothing like Marvel’s mutant powers that are latent until puberty, or the TV show “Heroes,” where the “fight or flight” adrenal response triggers the powers. The wolves begin phasing in New Moon…right after puberty due to vampires in the vicinity.

The God-Human Love Story: Supes and Lois. Diana and Steve. Black Adam and Adrianna.  Phoenix and Cyclops. Thor and Jane. Talia and Bruce. EDWARD and BELLA.

Outcast teens with a secret: Xavier’s school. Teen Titans. Runaways. Twilight.

Benevolent alien who wants to peacefully coexist with humans: Do I really even have to itemize this?

All of these elements have pleased superhero fans for years. So why wouldn’t the ladies enjoy it, too?  But more to the point, these are common threads.

Twihaters’ biggest gripe, though, is the revamping of classic vampire lore.  All they hear is “sparkle,” and their fucking brains go catatonic.  Then they move on to the default response of ridicule. To that I say, “Really? Can’t you be a little more flexible? Surely you are capable after dealing with decades of retcons.”

So what if Edward can go out in the sun? I’m pretty sure Blade was a daywalker. How is that more offensive than the constant retconning in comics? Remember last year’s big Final Crisis event, where Batman was “killed” by Darkseid’s Omega Beams, but then we saw him alive drawing on a cave wall (sometime in the past) over Anthro’s dead body? And somehow, Black Hand could raise his “corpse” for a hot second in Blackest Night #5 to elicit an emotional response out of the JLA players. I’m sure DC is going to tie it all together … or maybe they won’t, and they will retcon half of “Final Crisis” and use the rest. Now THAT is infuriating.

Stephenie Meyer brought fresh eyes to the vampire story. (And it’s not like she doesn’t give any explanation whatsoever, like some comic book editors I can think of.)  Meyer’s deviations are on the classic limitations of vampires: unconscious periods, sunlight, crosses, garlic, holy water, wooden stakes, etc. “These are all myths – deliberately placed in earlier centuries to mislead impressionable humans and make them feel safe.”  Seriously, that’s good stuff.  In a world ridden with paranoia-induced conspiracy theories, that concept — believing you’re safe when you’re really not — is real-world scary.

Since most of the naysayers haven’t actually read the series, they are unaware that much of the “Twilight” lore that they criticize is specific to the Cullens. Yes, they are benevolent vampires who feed on animal blood, but they are an anomaly in their world.  All the other vampires are evil, human-eating monsters. And jeez, the “Buffy”-loving geeks didn’t have a problem with Angel having a damn soul! I’d like to know what happened to “willful suspension of disbelief?”  After all, it’s just fiction, people!

Domestically, the “Twilight” movie franchise has grossed  $255 million and $500 million worldwide as of December 7.  This is only the third week of release. We still have two (maybe three) movies to go.  The Twilight saga is going down in Hollywood history as a force to be reckoned with among the ranks of “Batman,” “Star Wars,” “Harry Potter” and “The Lord of the Rings.” Period.

Get wise, guys. Twihards are a force to be reckoned with. We are geeks; we are smart; we have epic buying power — and we LOVE Edward.  His intensity, his etiquette and his devotion make our panties wet. You might learn a thing or two from him. I say get on board and get laid. If not, you are just going to have to suck up the sparkle. SUNSHINE!

If you asked the average non-geek to name three superheroes, chances are they’d say Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman — arguably the most iconic comic book heroes in existence. It’s just as likely that few (if any) of these people would know anything about Lobo, a DC character who was introduced as a villain in the early ’80s.

So it would stand to reason that Wonder Woman, who has been a major part of the DC Universe since 1941, would get the big-screen treatment long before a second-tier player who had a run of popularity in the ’90s. But while Hollywood has yet to show Diana any love, Guy Ritchie — a legitimate filmmaker! — is set to direct a live-action movie about Lobo.

Lobo.

Look; it’s bad enough that Wonder Woman has gotten second-class citizen treatment compared to her alleged equals, Superman and Batman. They’ve both had several major motion pictures across several generations. The last time Wonder Woman enjoyed a big pop culture moment outside of comic books was when Lynda Carter donned the costume in the ’70s. You could chalk that up to garden variety sexism or just a serious failure of imagination on the part of DC-Warner Brothers. But when frickin’ Lobo gets to the big dance before she does, that’s just ridiculous.