Writer-director Joss Whedon swung for the fences, and the result is a consistently fun, exciting action movie that makes the most of a strong cast. The Avengers doesn’t just throw a bunch of comic book characters onto the screen and then blow stuff up real good. Whedon takes care in defining the players and showing how they come together to execute their first mission.

The objective is to take down that villainous Asgardian diva, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who pays S.H.I.E.L.D. an unwelcome visit to steal the Tesseract. The glowing cube is central to his plot to rule humanity via alien invasion, and Nick Fury, played by the stoically cool Samuel L. Jackson, knows he’s going to need more than one big gun to stop him. One by one, the future Avengers begin assembling, but it’s a bumpy ride.

Could it be otherwise? Powerful people have big egos and generally are not given to compromise, so Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) are not going to un-puff their chests to work toward a collegial solution. At least not at first. Not everyone is wild about taking on the job, either. Most reluctant is Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), whose priority is keeping his raging inner Hulk at bay. Formidable as the heroes’ combined power is, prickly relationships threaten to undermine the cause.

Killer action sequences and impressive special effects? Check. More importantly, The Avengers is driven by top-shelf performances. No one will be surprised that Downey has some of the movie’s best one-liners and that he nails them. Chris Evans remains earnest as Captain America, but the strain of adjusting to life in a new century is apparent. Hiddleston, with his dazzling but scary smile, is perfectly haughty and petulant. Hemsworth gets to show that the mighty Thor has an unexpected, deadpan sense of humor.

The newcomers are no slouches, either. What a relief that Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow shines as a highly skilled combatant with a sharp mind, not stereotypical eye candy. Mark Ruffalo does a particularly outstanding job, playing Banner as a scarred man who is calm but subtly dangerous. I wish Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye had a little more to do, and there are a few head-scratchers — most notably a decision to leave Loki unattended (!) during what amounts to a hero hissy fit.

Though it clocks in at two hours and 22 minutes, The Avengers doesn’t have the bloated, indulgent feel of many blockbusters. It’s so well paced and frequently witty that the time flies. Let’s hope this inspires something of similar quality from the other member of the Big Two.

P.S.: Sit tight after the credits roll. There are treats. Grade: A-

Amid all the geeking out, the movie — filmed at San Diego Comic-Con in 2010 — acknowledges the elephant in the room: Comics have been relegated to the background of a giant convention with “comic” in the name, and that is now largely about mass entertainment. It’s unreal to look at old photos of the first Comic-Con in 1970 and compare those images to the huge scene it is today.

But Spurlock goes intimate, focusing on people with the kind of specific, heartfelt passion that defines fandom. Whether or not you’ve been to a major con, you’ll likely see a bit of yourself in the central characters and relate to the comments from anonymous con-goers and well-known creators like Joss Whedon and Kevin Smith.

Comic-Con IV: A Fan’s Hope follows a set of interesting players: Aspiring comic book artists Skip Harvey and Eric Henson, Mile High Comics owner Chuck Rozanski, gamer and amateur costume designer Holly Conrad, action figure enthusiast Anthony Calderon, and lovebirds James Darling and Se Young Kang, who met at Comic-Con the previous year. They all represent different facets of the event, but they’re united in their devotion to the things they love. Tone is important, and Spurlock never mocks his subjects or their pursuits.

Harvey and Henson bring their lifelong dreams and their portfolios to the Comic-Con, and despite their talent, there are critiques and hard realities to endure. Depending on your perspective, it’s either funny or a tad troubling to see Kang refuse to let Darling leave her side so that he can pick up the “Lord of the Rings”-inspired rock for the proposal.

Rozanski, who has been to Comic-Con 38 years in a row, talks about trying to sell comics at a convention where he can’t even use the loading docks at the back of the building (LucasFilm owns them now). Making a decent profit would be nice, but he’d really like to sell an extremely rare, mint Red Raven comic with an asking price of $500,000 to alleviate his financial burdens. Rozanski also has the most memorable line of the documentary:

“When a woman tells you to grow up, that’s God’s way of telling you to get new woman, especially if she tells you to get rid of your comics. There’s three billion women on the planet and not a lot of great comics, so it’s an easy choice.”

What Comic Con IV: A Fan’s Hope does well is to tap into the child-like glee that fans get from temporarily living out their fantasies, meeting their favorite creators or acquiring something cool. Calderon has a sparkle in the eye as he talks about his quest for an 18-inch Galactus figure. When he says he’s not leaving without it, you believe him. Conrad wants to bring Mass Effect alive by re-enacting a scene from the game before a con audience. There are happy and hopeful endings, and some tears.

I do wish the documentary had devoted more time to Comic Con’s evolution from a comics-focused event to the wide-ranging juggernaut it is today. Rozanski hints at the conflict between the old-timers and the Hollywood machine that has overtaken the event, but it’s mostly glossed over. And while I certainly understand the fan mindset, some viewers might be left wondering why someone would spend countless hours preparing to do a five-minute skit based on a video game, or devote an entire room in their house (and a safe) to toys. But maybe Spurlock wanted to avoid pathologizing his fellow geeks by psychoanalyzing them. Is it really that big a deal if someone wants to be Deadpool for a few days out of the year?

Will con veterans learn anything new from this movie? Probably not. Still, as someone who has been in hotel lobbies full of Stormtroopers, Steampunkers and Snapes, I found it charming and full of satisfying human drama. If you’ve never been to a con, don’t be surprised if you have the urge to dig up a cape and get to one soon. Grade: B

“What are the consequences for women when they are strong, and when they are the central actors of their own lives?”

It isn’t hyperbole to say that every comic book fan should see “Wonder Women! The Untold Story of American Superheroines,” the excellent documentary that premeired last month at the South by Southwest Film Festival. But you needn’t own a single comic book to fully enjoy this film. Thought-provoking and frequently moving, “Wonder Women!” examines the history of fictional heroines in popular culture, and how their highs and lows have reflected the lives of real American women since the 1940s.

It’s full of insightful commentary from activists, artists and scholars like Gloria Steinem, Trina Robbins, Lynda Carter and Bikini Kill lead singer Kathleen Hanna, as well as the stories of everyday men, women and children who are inspired by the most iconic heroine of all — Wonder Woman. Director Kristy Guevara-Flanagan graciously provided Girls Gone Geek with a copy of “Wonder Women!,” which is not yet in wide release. It’s so good that V. and I are on a mission to spread awareness in the hopes that it eventually becomes available for all to see. In the meantime, you can view a clip on the movie’s website.

“Wonder Women!” delves into Wonder Woman’s backstory as well as that of her eccentric creator, William Moulton Marston. Imagine being a kid, especially a girl in 1941 and seeing this powerful superheroine flying an invisible jet and knocking bad guys around like bowling pins. “She was the only hero who made you feel good about yourself,” Steinem said, reflecting on her own girlhood discovery of the character.

On the homefront, American women discover their own power by making and even flying planes while the men fight World War II overseas. But after the war, as women are expected to put down their rivet drills and go back to the kitchen, Wonder Woman’s commanding image suffers.

It’s not just her. Lois Lane dreams of becoming Mrs. Superman. Batwoman, who fights crime with a special makeup compact, is portrayed as incompetent and is frequently lectured by Batman. Even Catwoman is tamed, temporarily renouncing her career as a jewel thief.

Steinem shares a great anecdote about Ms. magazine’s campaign to restore Wonder Woman to glory after the character was de-powered and turned into a clothing boutique owner/martial artist in the late 1960s. (Wonder Woman famously appeared on the first issue of Ms. magazine in 1970, striding across the landscape in her original costume.)

“I remember the person in charge of Wonder Woman calling me up from DC Comics, and he was so annoyed,” Steinem recalled. “He said, ‘OK, she has her magical powers back, her lasso and bracelets; she has her invisible plane back and she has a black, African sister named Nubia. Now will you leave me alone?’ ”

Carmela Lane, an immigrant from Brazil, draws inspiration from Wonder Woman.

It’s fascinating to see the progression of the heroine in comics, television and film over time — characters like Buffy, Xena, Ellen Ripley and the Bionic Woman, all represented here. Lynda Carter, who is Wonder Woman for a generation of fans, tells some interesting stories about her time that role. She was stunned by one person’s opinion that female viewers would end up hating her, a prediction that obviously turned out to be dead wrong.

“Wonder Women!” has a strong point of view, and it isn’t afraid to embrace feminism or to ask hard questions about the treatment of women in the fictional realm and the real world. Modern-day sexism in comics doesn’t get a pass, and I want to high-five author Jennifer K. Stuller for putting to rest, once and for all, the old chestnut that male and female characters are similarly portrayed.

“People who say that men are just as hypersexualized or hyperidealized in comic books, in movies and/or television – that’s just bullshit,” Stuller said. “I would say that men may be drawn as muscular and handsome, but they’re also shown being active. They’re shown saving the day. Women are shown in very little clothing and being tortured, raped and murdered, so (men) are not subjected to that same sort of treatment of their bodies.”

But what gives “Wonder Women!” emotional depth is the commentary of fans like Katie Pineda, a fourth-grader whose confidence shines above her speech impediment; Andy Mangels, founder of the annual Wonder Woman Day project, which has raised more than $89,000 for battered womens’ shelters; and Carmela Lane, an immigrant from Brazil who is trying to making a better life for her daughter in the U.S. — and possesses some epic Wonder Woman tattoos. When you look at the footage of women and girls of all races and body types in Wonder Woman cosplay, it’s clear that they feel empowered just by wearing the costume. The Amazon Princess is more than a character in book; she’s a real source of inspiration for people of all genders and ages.

The question remains: Where did Wonder Woman go? She still has an ongoing comic book, but she hasn’t occupied the general public consciousness in a major way since the 1970s. We’re inundated with stories about male superheroes. Wonder Woman remains a unique and important symbol of female strength, one that — to echo Steinem — can make girls feel good about themselves.

“It’s time for DC to come forward. We’d love to have a full feature, live-action Wonder Woman movie,” said one fan, proudly dressed in full Wonder Woman regalia at a convention. “It’s time.”

Katniss Everdeen, woman of action.

“In two weeks, 23 of you will be dead.”

One of the many uncomfortable things about watching The Hunger Games is that moment when you realize, “I’m watching The Hunger Games.” The story may be fictional, but it’s nonetheless almost physically unsettling to see children on the verge of killing or being killed.

For the five people who haven’t heard of Suzanne Collins’ wildly popular dystopian series of novels, the Hunger Games are annual contests in which 24 young people ages 12 to 18 must battle to the death until only one is left standing. Worse, it’s all packaged as a festive reality show by the wealthy Capitol, which rules the nation of Panem. A few critics have knocked the film version for not having the guts to look this forced savagery in the eye, but I disagree with that assessment. Even the shaky-cam approach can’t soften those first moments in the arena when you see it dawning on these kids, some of them heartbreakingly small, that a violent death is possibly just seconds away.

Being entertained by a movie about killing as entertainment is, well, complicated. But as a movie-going experience, The Hunger Games is a very good one. A single feature film can’t include all the elements that made the book such a fantastic read, and some hardcore fans (I consider myself one) might be displeased by some of the shortcuts and slight deviations. However, most of the important things remain intact. The movie has many gripping moments and is respectful of the source material.

Jennifer Lawrence nails the role of the reluctant heroine Katniss, giving her the stoicism and contained vulnerability that the role demands. She offers herself up as a “tribute” to save her little sister, whose name is called in the grim lottery (the “reaping”) that determines the games’ contestants — one boy and one girl from each district. The movie captures the gray, thoroughly depressing aura of the districts, and the oppression is palpable on reaping day. Even when she’s all dolled up for the pre-Games festivities, a combination of the Olympics opening ceremonies and the Miss America pageant, Lawrence comes across as a relatable young woman.

The reaping also introduces us to her male counterpart, Peeta (Team Peeta!), sympathetically played by Josh Hutcherson. Realistic about his chances, Peeta still has the presence of mind to play to the crowd in the Capitol so that he can stay alive as long as possible, and maybe help Katniss do the same. Hutcherson makes Peeta instantly likeable even if, as in the book, his intentions aren’t immediately clear.

If the movie has a noteworthy weakness, it’s that there isn’t enough time to develop Katniss and Peeta’s relationship, which was such a compelling part of the book. Their survival depends not only on their prowess in the Games, but their ability to be believable as star-crossed lovers from the same district. The movie doesn’t deal much with the question that defined their partnership in the novel: Just how real are their feelings? Gale, Katniss’ hunting partner and more-than-a-friend back home, has precious little screen time. What’s most important, though, is that the film stays true to Collins’ characterization of Katniss as a woman of action who can take care of herself.

The movie brings to vivid life the disgusting, opulent circus surrounding the Games. The Capitol is filled with people who decorate themselves like Christmas trees and view the spectacle as great fun. Donald Sutherland oozes evil as President Snow, and Elizabeth Banks personifies the clueless frivolity of the Capitol citizenry in her role as Effie, Katniss and Peeta’s cloying escort. But the real action takes place in the woods of the arena, crawling with hidden peril, short-lived alliances and senseless tragedy. Even if you know how the story ends, the sprint to the conclusion is intense, frightening and often just plain sad.

This is a film that should (mostly) satisfy the book’s fans, and it surely will inspire more than a few people who are new to the party to grab the books and get up to speed for the sequel, Catching Fire. See you at the multiplex! Grade: B+

Wonder Women!, which makes its debut at the South by Southwest film festival next month, could go a long way toward changing that. This buzz-worthy documentary, feauturing interviews with artists and icons like Lynda Carter, Gloria Steinem and Trina Robbins, examines the evolution and history of female heroes in comic books, television and film. Directed by Kristy Guevara-Flanagan and produced by Kelcey Edwards, the movie got a huge boost from two successful Kickstarter fundraisers, which made it possible for the movie to be completed and polished for prime time. I’m dying to see it, and based on the response to the fundraising effort, it’s clear that many others are, too.

I interviewed Guevara-Flanagan for the CNN.com Geek Out! blog, and she’s clearly committed to bringing the stories of these heroines to light. Carter even tweeted about it, urging her followers to get behind the project.

“Thank you, Lynda Carter!” Guevara-Flanagan said. “We have been floored by the support, and as we are cranking away into the wee hours, it really cheers us on to know that our story is important, that people really are hungry for stories about strong women, and to know that there will be an incredible audience for us when the film launches.”

Even though the documentary has reached its fundraising goal, you can still contribute through March to help the filmmakers bring Wonder Women! to other cities and promote it further. I certainly plan to.

Guevara-Flanagan gave the scoop on the documentary, and why society still struggles with superheroines.

Q: What inspired the film?

A: We have been working on the film for over three years. I remember a few years ago reading an article about Gail Simone, who was writing the Wonder Woman comic at the time. I was surprised to discover that she was really the first woman to ever actually pen the super-lady. That really made me think about all the other Wonder Woman-like characters out there. Who created them? Why? And why were there so few of them that seemed really empowering?

Q: Did you grow up reading comic books? Who were your favorite characters?

A: I actually was not as much into superhero comics growing up as the more indie comics. I adored Love and Rockets. In fact, that is where I really got hooked into the graphic art form, and that was back in high school. And of course, I loved the strong female characters and Latino themes (I am half-Mexican.) From there, it was Hate, anything by Julie Doucet, Maus, Eightball and eventually everything by Adriane Tomine. I still love those kinds of story-driven comics and look forward to the Best American Comics anthology every year!

Q: What do you think accounts for the lack of acknowledgment of female superheroes in popular culture, and how do their stories mirror the lives of real women at various points in history?

A: I think we as a culture still have a hard time with the powerful female figure. Look at how we cover and report on our female political leaders. Much is made of the way they look, how they dress, their hair and makeup. I think strong women are continually brought down in this way, by focusing on their physicality instead of their real merits.

Female superheroes are treated the same way. They can’t be too butch or they won’t be love interests for the majority of the male readership and hence, too threatening. We like these women to kick ass, but we also seem to need them to be potential romantic figures. And so, they need to dress and look a certain way.

Of course, when the superwomen first emerged in the ‘50s and ‘60s, they were married to other supermen or were related to them. They didn’t even get to exist in their own right. With the women’s movement and other societal gains that came about in the ‘70s, they were finally able to be characters that weren’t birthed from Adam’s rib, so to speak. Today we have some female superheroes, but there still are not a ton. They are sexually liberated but they also tend to be incredibly sexualized in the way they are drawn and how they pose.

Q: What makes Wonder Woman the ideal symbol of the film?

A: When I began, I had no idea of Wonder Woman’s early origins or even that she had been around for as long as she had. She was fairly inspired and inspirational in the beginning and that made sense, since American women themselves were, for the first time, asked to work outside of the home and join the war effort (during World War II). As the women’s movement gained traction again in the ‘70s, she became a symbol of female empowerment, both because of the TV show’s success and because the women of Ms. Magazine heralded her as an icon.

Today, she is mostly that same symbol of strength for women. Many don’t know her real story or mythology, and younger audiences don’t even remember the TV show. It would be nice to see her story come back in a major way, and the fact that there is yet to be a Wonder Woman feature film is crazy to me.

Q: After SXSW, what are your plans for the film?

A: We hope to play at festivals all over the globe and to secure a broadcast deal so we can screen on TV. From there we would really like to do some community outreach: screenings at schools and colleges, panels at conferences about comic arts and women in the arts, and to develop some educational, interactive component online where teachers, parents, young and old can find out more information about the forgotten real and fictional female heroes out there.

Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi

If you’re ever in the mood to start an argument, try telling an adult Star Wars fan that the prequels have some redeeming value. No one wants to hear it, and you can count me among the hardcore Star Wars fans who will not be buying a ticket for the re-release of “The Phantom Menace” in 3-D today. (For a longer analysis of that movie’s impact, check out my article on the CNN.com Geek Out! blog.)

But for all my hard feelings about Episodes I-III, I have to admit that George Lucas got one thing right: casting Ewan McGregor as young Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Sir Alec Guinness will forever be the quintessential Obi-Wan, but it takes a very good actor to make you forget, even temporarily, that Guinness wore that brown robe first. Though Episode I was pretty much a lost cause, McGregor was invaluable to “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith.” He was totally credible as a wise and very patient mentor to that petulant future dictator, Anakin Skywalker. He projected the quiet confidence of a guy who would really rather not take you to school via the Force, but could do so spectacularly if called for.

Frankly, the prequels would have been even less satisfying without him. Whenever McGregor was absent and the story turned back to trade federations or the wooden courtship of Anakin and Padme, I became very aware of my watch. Hayden Christensen may not have been believable as the future Vader, but McGregor inhabited his role in a way that rose above the script and mind-numbing CGI.

One of the best scenes is in “Attack of the Clones,” is when Anakin and Obi-Wan walk into a club in search of bounty hunter Zam Wessel. After telling Anakin to be careful while scoping out the joint, Obi-Wan saunters off toward the bar.

Anakin: “Where are you going, Master?”
Obi-Wan: “To get a drink.”

It seems our Ben was once, as McGregor put it in an interview years ago, “a bit of a lad.”

Scenes like that make me wish that the prequels had gone the route suggested in a great Craked.com essay, focusing more on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s friendship and mutual Jedi badassery than politics and doomed romance. I can only imagine that a better story would have resulted in an even richer performance, and it sure would have given that last light saber battle between the two in “Sith” more emotional heft.

It’s telling that, in a series that chronicles Anakin’s descent into darkness and shows his heartbroken wife dying, for crying out loud, I came away caring more about Obi-Wan. Such is the power of a strong performance. McGregor filled Guinness’ large shoes admirably and provided an oasis of awesome in the desert.

FassAvoy!

Michael Fassbender’s Erik Lehnsherr and James McAvoy’s Charles Xavier were a match made in cinema heaven in this summer’s “X-Men: First Class.” (See review here.) The push and pull between the two of them is the movie’s greatest strength, and their relationship is essentially — as McAvoy has called it — a love story.

Maybe that’s why the scene where Charles helps the future Magneto discover the magnitude of his mutant power goes right to the gut. During a training session, Erik attempts to turn a massive satellite and fails because he’s using the wrong fuel: anger. Charles/Yoda advises him that “true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity,” and he reaches into his friend’s mind to find a beautiful memory — one of his mother. Erik tries again and the damn thing moves. Best personal trainer ever.

It’s Charles’ belief in his friend’s goodness and Erik’s awe at his own gift that make this moment a killer, and one of the best in X-movie history.

“Free Enterprise” may be the geekiest movie I had never heard of. A few weeks ago, a generous friend hooked me up with a copy of the film, which was released in just a

handful of theaters in 1998 and quickly disappeared. That’s a shame, because this story about two friends on the edge of 30 is a funny, bottomless pit of sci-fi and pop culture references. It’s also a sharp and ultimately sweet movie about relationships and fumbling toward adulthood.

Robert (Rafer Weigel), the slacker of the duo, would rather spend his money on a Mego Mighty Isis doll than his utility bill, and he can’t stop himself from correcting a bungled Star Trek reference. However, he’s not the stereotypical nerd who can’t get a date. Robert definitely gets around, but his man-child tendencies inevitably undermine the romance. As one woman puts it, “Wow. Your place looks like a really rich fourth-grader lives here.”

Mark (played by Eric McCormack of “Will & Grace”) is a sci-fi magazine editor who is practically ossified in cynicism and quietly freaked out about turning 30. While he’s more responsible than Robert, Mark is seriously impaired when it comes to intimacy. The most exciting part of his evening is when an anonymous woman having (or faking) an orgasm leaves a recording on his answering machine. Mark is kind of a dick, but he does help Robert out of a financial jam more than once. There’s a heart beneath those withering one-liners. Neither guy is exactly living the dream. Robert edits trashy films for a living, and Mark’s passion project is a movie called “Bradykillers.” Yes, that would be a film about the serial murder of the Brady Bunch.

Mark and Robert meet their idol William Shatner in a bookstore one night, and after going into a babbling fanboy fit, they end up befriending the star. Their obsession with Shatner goes all the way back to childhood when they considered him a sort of guardian angel, so it’s a bit of a shock for them to discover that he’s very human. Later, Robert meets the girl of his dreams in a comic book shop and (barely) recovers after assuming she’s buying “Sandman” for her boyfriend. Robert falls deeply in love with Claire, ignoring friends and employer, but bad habits come back to haunt him. For all the humor, there’s a tenderness in this movie that I didn’t expect.

In addition to Shatner’s charmingly self-effacing performance, there are a number of laugh-out-loud moments and delightful in-jokes. The “Logan’s Run” dream sequence was gold, as were the strategically placed “Star Wars” quotes. I plan to watch it again because I’m certain that I missed something.

I’ll admit that the movie is dated (Do the rappers have to be so stereotypical?) and doesn’t exactly have the highest production values. As much as I dug it, I wonder whether it would resonate as much with those outside Generation X because of the plentiful allusions to ’70s nerdery. However, my civilian spouse liked it, so that indicates some mainstream appeal.

Minor shortcomings aside, “Free Enterprise” is a well-written love letter to the geek community, and it deserves a bigger audience. I’m doing my part to spread the word.

Captain America (Chris Evans) and Bucky (Sebastian Stan).

The best comic book movies find the balance between pleasing fans and entertaining people who don’t know their adamantium from their vibranium. As sturdy and sincere as its title hero, Captain America: The First Avenger pulls it off. It’s an accessible origin story with big, old-fashioned heart, and the geek in me was thrilled to see that famous shield slice the air.

While I didn’t love Captain America as fiercely as the first Iron Man movie or X-Men: First Class, it entertains from start to finish. That’s due in no small part to star Chris Evans, who has left that unfortunate Fantastic Four movie far behind him. As Steve Rogers, he’s confident but not cocky, unfailingly earnest, and charming.

No matter how many times you’ve seen the trailers, the CGI that turns Evans into the puny, pre-enhanced Rogers is stunning. Despite his disturbing frailty and serial rejection, his determination to enlist during World War II eventually pays off. He’s a veteran of many alleyway beatings, so no one can accuse him of being untested. Rogers is also remarkably resourceful and fearless, qualities that impress the hell out of the gruff Col. Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones). During basic training, Rogers scores a capture-the-flag victory that puts the other recruits to shame.

Even so, Rogers wonders why he, out of far more able-bodied candidates, was chosen for the experiment that will turn him into the ultimate soldier. Scientist Dr. Abraham Erskine, Rogers’ Yoda, so to speak, breaks it down thusly: “A weak man knows the value of strength.” But there are some bumps along the way as Rogers decides what he wants to be: a costumed symbol of strength, or a man of action on the front lines.

The second half is all about defeating Nazis — specifically, the Hydra faction led by the odious Red Skull (Hugo Weaving). I don’t how Weaving does it, but he’s a master of the cold, soulless glare that says, “I will kill you without blinking.” And when he reveals his leathery, crimson face beneath the mask? Brrrrrr.

We are introduced to a host of familiar characters, including Peggy Carter, a tough agent played by Hayley Atwell. This being the 1940s, she’s used to being disrespected by men who quickly regret doing so. And then there is the storied Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Rogers’ best friend and courageous fellow soldier. Iron Man’s pops Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) has some funny scenes, and you can never go wrong with Jones, who was born to play grizzled war veterans. Captain America’s sleek shield is practically a supporting character, and it’s really the only reason to see this movie in 3-D. I won’t lie. I flinched a bit when that thing looked like it was flying out of the screen.

Maybe some while find it corny, but I think Captain America works precisely because it’s so straightforward. There’s no winking and no attempt to make the title character a gritty, angst-ridden hero who’s sagging under the weight of his duty. Strength and sincerity look good on Evans, and he alleviates any concerns about his ability to play the iconic character. His Captain America is the polar opposite of Johnny Storm, but that’s called good acting.

Though the movie ends abruptly, it does so on a poignant note and sets up perfectly for The Avengers movie. You’ll want to stay for the trailer, even if you’ve seen it on YouTube. Trust me.

Between outrageous ticket prices and patrons who can’t stop texting/Tweeting/yapping for even two lousy seconds after the lights go down, I’ve often wondered whether it’s still possible to experience child-like joy at the movies. However, my skepticism was no match for the wonderful J.J. Abrams-directed thriller Super 8. It was like time travel. Just seconds into this film, I could feel myself turning back into that 12-year-old girl who was watching E.T. for the first time.

Executive produced by Steven Spielberg, Super 8 is an obvious homage to his late ’70s and ’80s classic films. Though it’s been widely praised, some critics have called it an emotionally manipulative Spielberg knockoff. Well, duh. Expert emotional manipulation is one of Spielberg’s superpowers, and I wouldn’t have him any other way. Abrams proves to be an A-student of Spielberg’s style, but Super 8 stands firmly on its own. It’s a sentimental, affecting, and frequently frightening story with a geeky soul.

It’s 1979, and middle-schooler Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney) has just buried his mother, who died on the job at the town steel plant. He’s got a distant relationship with his dad, Jackson (Kyle Chandler), a stoic deputy who isn’t thrilled about his son’s hobby. Joe’s been shooting a zombie movie with a pack of misfits, led by his hilariously loudmouthed friend, Charles (Riley Griffiths). He’s also got an ulterior motive, which is getting close to Alice, the guarded girl next door (Elle Fanning).

This was when a kid could get on a bike and disappear for hours, with no cell phone as a parental GPS, and inhabit a world free of supervision or adult micromanagement. Trust me when I say that Super 8 nails the era, clothes, furniture, and all. Joe’s room is cluttered with Star Wars action figures and other period-appropriate tchotchkes. The movie is blissfully free of the hyper-intelligent, snarky banter that child actors trade in so many modern movies and TV shows.

While the young filmmakers shoot a night scene at the train station, there’s a devastating, metal-twisting crash that leaves hundreds of white, Rubik’s cube-like items on the scorched earth. Charles’ trusty camera is still rolling, and this is where Super 8 takes a turn onto Oh, Snap! Boulevard. The kids are completely freaked out by the incident and its aftermath, but they can’t breathe a word to anyone. Even Joe is forbidden from telling his dad, who soon has the impossible task of reassuring the townsfolk as the disturbances escalate. It’s what we don’t see that scares us most, and I jumped in my seat more than once. Anyone can show a bloodbath, but for genuine chills, nothing beats a shadowy creature behind rustling tree branches.

Super 8‘s real triumph, however, is in its endearing characters. Courtney, who I swear is channeling Henry Thomas from 1982, is teriffic as the vulnerable but spunky Joe. I loved his scenes with Fanning, who plays Alice with such quiet, convincing melancholy. Griffiths steals many a scene as a tyrannical film director-in-training, and the audience laughed every time he opened his mouth.

Friday Night Lights fans already know this, but Chandler should play everyone’s dad in everything. He’s completely believable as a man who’s grieving and overwhelmed, but will be damned if he lets anyone see it. Chandler’s weary, WTF? demeanor throughout Super 8 reminded me very much of (Spielberg reference!) Roy Scheider’s Police Chief Brody in Jaws.

I’m not going to give away the mystery of the white cubes or what dragged that poor, screaming sap through a convenience store window. Cinematic things that go bump in the night are best experienced firsthand, and Super 8 serves its fright with a nostalgic side of sweetness. Savor it, and make sure you stay for the closing credits.

“The bigger you are, the faster you burn.”

Disclaimer: First and foremost, I am a Green Lantern fangirl. I shall give my best impression of an objective film critic type. Now, shall we?

Let’s start off with a roll call.

Hal Jordan
Behind Hal’s sarcastic, white-bread machismo exists a human determined to get the job done; hence, our willful leading man. Insert Ryan Reynolds. I know many of you were rolling your eyes when he was cast as Hal Jordan, but I was not. I think he fits the character (and that suit) like a glove. His voice, movement, and shit smirk are all kinds of perfect. Reynolds also has decent acting chops. He can do sensitive bear masked in hotshot. I only wish he had the dialogue to display that. Skimpy writing aside, Reynolds is charming and funny as Hal Jordan. Funny goes far. Grade B+

Carol Ferris
I was much more skeptical about Blake Lively as Carol Ferris. At first, Lively comes off as a bit immature, but eventually works her way into a more believable Carol. She gives life to her pencil skirt, not the other way around. She shows us a competent, quick-on-the-draw character who is in love, but not defined by it. Lively gets extra points for minimizing the distress, and maximizing sharpness whilst being the one to save Hal. Grade B+

Thomas Kalmaku
Taika Waititi is the jaunty counterpart to Reynolds’ Hal, and they have solid comedic chemistry. His screen time is short, but this guy is a riot. Grade A

Hector Hammond
I have never read a comic with Hector Hammond as the villain, so I am more critic than fangirl here. If repulsive is what they were going for, they succeeded with Hammond as infected by Parallax. Sarsgaard’s performance was fine enough, but the insecure, socially inadequate shy guy with an axe to grind against the popular people is … stale. Grade C

Amanda Waller
The Wall is in the movie! This pleases me. It is an interesting take on the character, and Angela Basset’s cool demeanor is spot on. Grade B

Sinestro
Sinestro is probably one of the most festive villains in the DCU. His well-mannered fascism makes for bloody good comic book banter. Mark Strong is brilliant as the magenta turncoat. The passionate dominance and the budding light of extremism are executed without flaw. Strong is Sinestro, giving the possible sequel a lot of potential. Grade A

Parallax
The origin and overall concept of Parallax fits quite nicely into the context of the film, and demonstrates what smug bastards the Guardians are. But, I thought the visual rendering was utterly ridiculous, particularly towards the end. Grade D

Kilowog
Kilowog is awesome. That is all. POOZERS. Grade A+

Green Lantern Corps
I have thought many times while reading the comic, particularly Green Lantern Corps, how flipping visually schizophrenic all the different alien species are. That alone incited a lot of curiosity for the film. I was not disappointed. My heart leapt with joy at seeing all of the Lanterns. They are fantastically rendered in the movie. For the comic fan, it is just SUPER cool. Grade A

Now, on to the review …

One of the most apt descriptions of the DC Universe I’ve ever read comes from the blog Desperate Worlds.

The DCU is a convoluted, beautiful mess of color, ink, and pulp; of cities and worlds, heroes and villains whose names and symbols exist as icons of culture and art.

Isn’t it, though?

The Green Lantern movie made me think of that quote. It is a vivid and unlikely story that spans the universe, and requires the kind of suspension of disbelief that the comic fan has had plenty of practice with. The Grant Morrisons and J.H. Williamses bend our minds to infinitum, and we love it. Between the bright green and the utter impossibility of 3,600 aliens with will-powered rings policing the universe, how much more sensational can you get?

Not much. It is such a good time. From start to finish, my eyes were wide, I was thrilled to see these characters come to life, and my squeals of delight amused all who were sitting near me.

Green Lantern is a straightforward, super-hero origin story. The plot is simple. The bells and whistles are, of course, in the visual design. As awesome as I think that is, a race car or Gatling gun energy construct can be outlandish, even in the pages of a comic book. I see the moments where a fangirl like me is doing imaginary cartwheels, while other critics might be rolling their eyes from the perceived campiness. This is where the medium’s limitations begin to show when bringing a comic book film like Green Lantern, from the fanciful DCU, to the big screen.

Sure, the Batman is of DC origin, but Bruce Wayne’s genius and dark, depressing coming of age story may be somehow more relatable. With Magneto, whose past is tied to the Holocaust, his pain resonates in our consciousness. While the brilliant Tony Stark designs his robotic suit for the greater good, his reputation in weapons manufacturing is relevant to today’s war-torn world. The meat of those critically successful stories is grounded in something more tangible than a Lantern ring. Somewhere in our psyche, there are pieces of these characters that can find a home; thus, it is not a particularly far leap for the mind.

If the complexity of character and real world despair reign superior, how does the space fantasy of this film connect with the audience? I think it is in the simplistic nature of Hal Jordan. I say that plain determination is something to revere. Maybe this notion is so thoroughly ingrained in modern culture that we forget Jordan sprang from the Silver Age. In this simple character, the fantasy of the film is grounded.

SPOILER ALERT
During the course of the story, Hal struggles with the idea that a Green Lantern has to be innately fearless, and a rather condescending Sinestro reinforces this notion. We see moments where this debilitates our hero. Then, in a vulnerable moment shared with Carol and best friend Thomas Kalmaku, Hal admits that he is afraid. Through the very act of speaking his truth and being honest with his emotion, he is empowered. An intuitive Carol reminds him that it is his ability to overcome the fear that defines him. This act of emotional honesty turns Hal into our willful hero.

The movie also displays a seamless give and take between the comics medium and film. Hal’s emotional landscape is familiar to Green Lantern comic readers, as emotion is the basis for much of Lantern lore. But that kind of emotion on the part of the leading man is not often displayed in an action movie. On the other side of that coin, Green Lantern’s fantastic visuals may be a stretch in live-action, but the actors achieved what the comic does not. For once, Carol’s love of Hal proved to be something powerful, and not a hindrance to her. Well done.

Watching that Green flash of light streaking through the sky on screen filled me with hope that the gold of Diana, or maybe the black of Dinah, will soon follow. While it is clearly more probable that the yellow of Sinestro will see the silver screen first, it could ALL come alive by Hollywood’s imperfect hand … eventually.

That is what we wanted, isn’t it?

P.S. I’m high-fiving Geoff Johns when I see him.

But how can you not be the tiniest bit excited by those trailers showing the early days of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr, the future Professor X and Magneto? They’re fascinating, storied characters, and even though origin stories are kinda played, this is one we haven’t seen onscreen before. It’s not a flawless movie, but it is stylish, frequently thrilling, and supported by some excellent performances. It’s also got a great surprise up its sleeve with a cameo no one in the audience saw coming.

One of the most powerful scenes from the first X-Men movie was young Erik’s separation from his mother in a World War II concentration camp. Here, we learn more about the stunning cruelty he endured, and how those events unleashed his mutant gifts. Charles, protected by his great privilege and brilliance, grew up with a decidedly more benevolent view of humankind. It’s a delight to see him as a rakish, fully ambulatory young man, charmingly portrayed by James McAvoy. Charles was a pimp in the Cold War era.

But the shining star of this movie is Michael Fassbender, who is gangsta as the man who will become Magneto. You do not want to be a Nazi in his path, because your death will be spectacularly and painfully executed, pun intended. Fassbender plays Erik as a seething, steely-eyed soul who has one mission: Killing Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), the monster responsible for his suffering. I expected a more elegant, chilling performance from Bacon, but the scenery on that set must be shredded from him chewing it. Fortunately, that does nothing to diminish the intensity of Erik’s hunt — and it is most definitely a hunt. (By the way, Fassbender is as hot as Miami asphalt in August. It’s completely believable that he would age into that fierce lion in winter, Sir Ian McKellen.)

Charles becomes Erik’s savior in more ways than one, and their relationship is the heart of X-Men: First Class. As they recruit younger mutants to nurture, train, and work with, they become brothers separated by philosophy. Interestingly enough, Charles is the person responsible for Erik discovering the depth of his power. It’s touching to watch him help Erik push past his doubts and perform a feat he never thought possible. Sebastian opened the door through cruelty. Charles kicked it down with kindness.

The younger mutants are a colorful supporting crew, and you can sense their exhilaration as they learn to use and control their powers. After years of longing to fit in, they’ve found a home and a family. That is, until circumstances force them to choose sides and grow up fast.

The movie’s artful use of anti-mutant sentiment as a symbol of bigotry is certainly true to the history of the comics, and it remains moving. Part of Charles’ motivation for assisting the U.S. government during the Cuban Missile Crisis is to prove that mutants are allies, not evil freaks. But Mystique, his adoptive sister, questions whether he can fully relate to the struggle. The world has been kind to Charles because, as far as humans are concerned, he’s an attractive, aristocratic white man. The blue and scaly have a rougher go of it.

As one might expect, the early 1960s aren’t exactly paradise for females, traditionally appealing or otherwise. Sebastian doesn’t consider companion Emma Frost, dully presented by January Jones, to be an equal. She can read minds and turn into a living diamond, but as far as he’s concerned, her job is to follow orders and keep his drinks cold. It’s really too bad that Jones doesn’t bring more haughty oomph to her complex character.

Despite those glitches, X-Men: First Class is a hugely likable, accessible blockbuster that’s clearly setting up for a sequel. More mutants? Yes, please.

What about you? With the embarrassment of riches headed our way, what superhero flick are you most excited about?

Critics have slammed it, and the box office numbers are dismal in comparison to the $82 million budget. The former affecting the latter, I’m sure. But Sucker Punch has quickly become a polarizing film in pop culture fandom. I stand firmly on the side of the pleated skirts. Orcs, fishnets, and Steampunk Nazis? Oh, yeah. Baby Doll leads us on a physics-defiant fantasy ride within her two-tiered dissociative delusions, which are the movie.

The Good
The soundtrack is out-of-control awesome. Look, Sucker Punch is not exactly dialogue-heavy (you knew that, right?) The music is a driving force and works as a transition from reality to dream world. Grit and rhythm engage you in Baby Doll’s mental reality. It works. Soundtrack downloaded. The music must be experienced in an IMAX theater.

I have got to give it to these ladies; they pulled off some phenomenal fight sequences. I suppose 12 weeks of training and dead-lifting 200 pounds might get one in shape. Particular props go to Vanessa Hudgens and her super-sweet ass kicking of one steam-powered Nazi robot. I literally squealed when she was done. Aside from the combat scenes, the action sequences were just visually stunning. Scenes of dodging dragons in a fighter jet and exploding futuristic cities, were wildly amusing.

Since I’m on the topic of eye candy, those girls are hot to the tenth power. No one should be ashamed of saying so. Yeah, the costumes are clearly fetishist, but fetish does not equal “bad.” Personally, I can’t wait for the cosplay Sucker Punch will inspire. I’m looking at you, Dragon*Con.

The Bad
The story does drag at the beginning, but who’s going to see this shit for the story? Seriously.

As is the way of Hollywood, Sucker Punch touts some major violence towards women, mostly in the form of attempted and implied rape, and a murder or two. The ladies do fend off the physical affronts, and the violators are shown reaping the consequences of their actions. But the “damsel in distress” is not just an emotional plot hook, it is the crux of the film. The reason the girls have to defend their person at all is because they are held against their will. In one layer of Baby Doll’s dream world, they are sex slaves and are fighting for their freedom. Ultimately, I’m not so much bothered that it is in the film, but because Sucker Punch garnered a PG-13 rating.

Snyder originally had a sex scene with Baby Doll and The High Roller (John Hamm), consensual sex where Baby Doll is enjoying herself. The MPAA ordered this to be edited. Their request cut the scene down to where it looked as if Baby Doll was not experiencing pleasure, thus it seemed as if she was being taken advantage of. The MPAA was OK with that version. Why would they want that in a film where the girls are fighting against that very thing? Snyder cut the scene all together.

I take issue with the MPAA and its culturally and politically skewed rating system. That is where the blazing misogyny dwells. Sucker Punch contains no blood and most of the more extreme violence is implied. There is still slavery and murder of young women. But it gets the studio-sanctioned PG-13 rating once the female pleasure portion of the show is cut?

I am a woman with a daughter, and I enjoyed this movie. The female characters have enough spit and fire in them, and ultimately they triumph. I also recognize it in the context of the 1950s setting. But the interwebs are alive with folks bitching about gender roles and vapidity of Sucker Punch. Do me a solid; direct your angst towards the MPAA. I don’t think this film should be accessible to the 13-17 crowd, but I guess the studio has to make their money back somehow.

The Verdict
Sucker Punch is a scantily clad acid trip, which may not appeal to everyone’s sensibilities. However, it is damn good time. If you expect this to be intellectual fodder for the ages, you’re an idiot. I’d really like it if everyone lightened the fuck up, let it be the cheesecake film that it is obviously meant to be. Pop culture has been graced with five new kick-ass ladies: Baby Doll, Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie, and Amber. Enjoy the view. I did.

Many, many others have written about the genius of the original All-Star Superman, so the series doesn’t need my late stamp of approval. But while I fully expected to enjoy the story, I didn’t anticipate just how much more I would appreciate Superman as a character after finishing them.

I recently purchased the trades in a mad rush to catch up before watching the direct-to-DVD film that was released last week. Several times, I’d flipped through the All-Star Superman collection in a bookstore, shrugged and put it back. Again, I assumed that it was good, but I was convinced there were no more truly interesting stories about the Man of Steel. Even the gushing cover blurbs couldn’t win me over.

My bad.

Comic book icons are the hardest to write because they can only be trifled with to a point. Usually, you can’t deviate too much from their basic backstory or blueprint. If they’re killed, editorial brings them back in a year’s time. In this context, maintaining the freshness of a storied, nearly invulnerable hero like Superman is an especially difficult task. He loves his job, his parents, and Lois. He’s loyal to his friends. He’s good with children. He does the right thing because that’s what he learned in Kansas. Isn’t that kind of goodness … boring?

All-Star Superman — the series and the movie (adapted for the screen by the late, great Dwayne McDuffie) — answer this question with a resounding “No.” Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant took a character who is often dismissed as a demigod Boy Scout and reminded us of why he is the most important superhero of all time. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t yet read the comics or seen the film, but suffice to say that Kal-El’s heroism comes across as something incredibly decent and organic, not predictable and corny. And dude, he makes Da Vinci look average. Batman is justifiably celebrated as a genius, but in these stories, Superman is over-the-top brilliant. He’s perfecting A.I., concocting serums, reading Lois’ DNA, and communicating (sorta) with his 28th Century counterparts. All before breakfast. The Fortress of Solitude is like the best Manhattan penthouse ever, crossed with Mt. Olympus and NASA. And he designed it HIMSELF.

Unfortuantely, this level of awesomeness can’t be sustained indefinitely, which is why some of the most powerful Superman stories — including Alan Moore’s Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? — have less than happy endings. But they do have hopeful, emotionally resonant endings. I am not ashamed to say that I was in tears by the end of Morrison’s series and the movie adaptation. My husband, a non-geek, gave the latter his ultimate compliment. “That was tight.”

Indeed. Superman, you’re my hero.

The All-American boy isn’t usually my thing, but Chris Evans is doin’ it to it as Captain American. Here’s to hoping his performance in the film is as good as he looks. I think it will be.

Captain ... can I get a hug?

If Robert Downey, Jr. is in a movie, I am going to see it. I think he is a brilliant actor. I was not prepared for how utterly exciting his performance would be as the intense and tough Sherlock Holmes. His Holmes is a logical genius marching to the beat of his own drum, fearless in the face of authority, and fighting the good fight. Renowned for his repartee, he also happens to be wearing the hell out of that vest. It’s like … perfection.

You better stop looking at me like that.

Han Solo: The Scoundrel

Sanaa Lathan

Sanaa Lathan: She’s played plenty of strong characters, and her turn as a driven career woman in the little-seen Something New was really good. As an actress, Lathan has the right mix of steeliness and vulnerability to do right by the role.

Rashida Jones

Rashida Jones: The multitalented Ms. Jones could do a great screwball comedy turn on Lois Lane, harkening back to the Margot Kidder model. There’s something wonderfully perky about her, and since she’s co-authored a comic book, we know she’s a fan of the medium.

Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes: Besides having a stunning screen presence, Eva just comes across as a formidable woman. She’s also funny, as her turn as Will Ferrell’s wife in The Other Guys proves. I can definitely see her staring down a shady mofo on the other side of a reporter’s notebook.

Anika Noni Rose

Anika Noni Rose: The voice of Disney’s first African-American princess and big-screen Dreamgirl would make a plucky, loveable Lois. She’s a fresh face and a big talent who deserves more exposure. Plus, she’s a fellow alum of my alma mater (Florida A&M, represent!).

Grace Park: She’s been on Battlestar Galactica (geek cred!), and she’s currently Det. Kona Klakaua in the updated Hawaii Five-O TV show (badass!) Enough said.

Thandie Newton

Thandie Newton: OK, Thandie was my top choice to play Selina Kyle, but that ain’t gonna happen. So why not give this lovely, proven actress a chance to do her thing as the most famous reporter in the DCU? Besides, who would deny this woman a quote?

The very handsome Brit Henry Cavill is the new cinema Superman, and for the life of me, I can’t tell whether anyone cares. Too soon? It seems like we were just being introduced to Brandon Routh, who did a good job in a flawed movie, Superman Returns. I’m not all that excited about a reboot, but I’m a little bummed that Routh didn’t get a chance to show what he could do in a (potentially) better movie. In any case, Cavill will look great with a spit-curl and a cape. And for the love of Rao, please cast a believable Lois Lane this time around.

Does the unveiling of the new Man of Steel have you pumped for the movie?

We're, like, heroic and stuff.

Over the years, various Cartoon Network shows based on DC Comics have given their source material a serious run for their money. I’d wager that many episodes of the late, great Justice League/Justice League Unlimited, Teen Titans and the current Batman: The Brave and the Bold, to name a few, have been just as entertaining – often moreso – than some of the books they sprang from. Based on tonight’s winning film premiere, Young Justice is poised to carry on that proud tradition.

The movie, a launching pad for the ongoing series beginning in January, is a classic coming-of-age story with a lot of punching and explosions: Robin, Speedy, Aqualad and Kid Flash think they’ve been invited to the grown-up table when their mentors finally bring them into the Hall of Justice, but in reality, they only get as far as the foyer. Batman, Green Arrow, Aquaman and Flash claim the kids simply aren’t ready for full access, which sends Speedy into an angry, this-is-bullshit hissy fit. Aqualad’s quietly wounded response is particularly moving. Aquaman isn’t just his teacher, but his king, so the apparent lack of confidence goes right to the heart.

Of course, it’s only a matter of time before the adults are called away on a mission, and the kids ignore their orders to stay put. They dive headfirst into a crisis at Cadmus Laboratories, and that’s where the real fun begins. Let’s just say that the Cadmus staff isn’t exactly whipping up new flu vaccines.

Visually, Young Justice is a treat. The players are distinctive-looking without being overly stylized, and the animation is quite fluid. The characterization is dead-on: Robin is the quick-witted detective who’s one step ahead of the rest; Kid Flash is the impetuous, slightly annoying chatterbox; Aqualad is thoughtful and broodingly regal. There’s also an element of real danger when Superboy enters the picture, because a wild card with Superman’s powers is pretty much the scariest thing ever.

It’s not giving much away by saying that everything works out in the end, but this fledgling team is in for plenty of trials and adjustments – like the very welcome addition of Miss Martian, Martian Manhunter’s niece. My only quibble is that she doesn’t show up until the end, and Artemis doesn’t appear at all. However, I understand that there’s only so much character development you can deliver in one hour, and the movie does what it’s supposed to: Build excitement for the weekly TV show. Count me in.

So the first footage from the upcoming Green Lantern film is out and there’s a whole lot of quipping and green blasty stuff happening. Ryan Reynolds is his usual charming self, and he looks like he’s having a great time. Of course, geeks appear to be divided over whether the clip looks amazing or cheesy. Since this is all we have to go on for the moment, what do you think?

At the risk of offending Jessica Alba fans the world over, I think most people will agree that the last two Fantastic Four films were pointlesss. Aside from Chris Evans’ fun performance as Johnny Storm, the movies didn’t exactly set the world on fire, pun intended. However, an earlier movie adaptation of the Fantastic Four apparently made Tim Story’s version look like Iron Man by comparison.

Never seen it? That’s because it was never released. There’s a detailed recap here, but we’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes: After sitting on the FF film rights for years, the German company Neue Constantin Film rushed the movie into production in the early ‘90s so it wouldn’t lose the option. So in 1992, producer Roger Corman (Sorority House Massacre II, Piranha) was enlisted to crank out a FF movie on the cheap. It appears that everyone took the job seriously, but there was a tiny problem: It was made specifically so that Constantin Film could keep the rights, shelve the movie and remake it at a later date with a proper budget. Several important people — the actors and the director — never got that bit of information. (Fun fact: Corman’s fellow producer on the film, Bernd Eichinger, later worked on the 2005 and 2007 FF movies.)

The 1994 movie has never been released on DVD, but several scenes, like the one above, are available on YouTube. It’s easy to snicker, but there’s something kinda charming and DIY about those clips, and I really feel for the players who were duped into thinking that it was destined for the big screen. (Besides, the Dr. Doom in this version doesn’t look any sillier than the dude in the 2005 “big budget” FF movie.) When you think of all the terrible big-budget movies that are released intentionally every year, it seems particularly cruel. I’d love to see the finished product, complete with commentary and some making-of footage. And no, I’m not joking.