There are many things that DC has been lacking these days, but the one that I lament over regularly is Lady Shiva. I made a point to read the issues of Nightwing where she made an appearance, and while she is portrayed as being plenty skilled … something about her is missing. There wasn’t enough exposition or cold-hearted philosophy of life that Gail Simone would write into the character. Also, that costume is atrocious.
It’s been awhile since we have done a versus poll here at G3, so I am bringing it back with some Image Comics ferocity.
I have told you several times you should be reading Chew. Since you listen to every thing I say, you know exactly who Poyo is. If you don’t know who Poyo is, first be very ashamed of yourself, then listen closely (or click here). Poyo is the fiercest government employed killer rooster you will ever know. He can slice throats with a single swipe of his claw and rip out beating hearts with his beak. Because Poyo has a flawless record of destruction and may be one of the most entertaining characters to splatter blood in comics, he is favored to win.
Our other contender hails from Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples’ SAGA. The Stalk is an intergalactic assassin with a reputation for getting the job done. Maybe it’s her eight legs, the four different weapons in hand (foot?), or her barbed tongue with the velocity to impale flesh. No matter, facing her means you are as good as dead.
Last night I was bagging and boarding my comics. I often put on a movie I’ve seen before just to have some background buzz, and I chose the Wonder Woman animated film. The offspring joined me, not to bag and board, but for the movie. Inevitably, she has questions. She is a curious spirit and I have henceforth dubbed her “The Questionator” (it is her super power). As she is watching the movie, she is curious why Diana isn’t sustaining any broken bones while fighting Ares. I explained Wonder Woman’s super powers, and how she’s pretty much impervious. Then she suggests that a fight between her and Batman would be a good one. I laughed. Clearly, she overrates Batman (just like everyone else); thus, I countered her versus suggestion with Black Canary. She thought about it and concurred. So there we have it, folks. Dinah versus Bruce. Set aside your boyhood bias and remember they both have been trained by Lady Shiva. They are both stellar hand-to-hand combatants. One is a genius and the other is a Meta. AND … just to keep it extra funky-fresh … Gail’s Canary circa Sensei & Student, Morrison’s Bat from, say, Batman & Son. Go.
One has arachnid-derived superpowers and exceptional intelligence. The other graduated with honors from Batman’s School of Hard Knocks. Peter Parker and Tim Drake are both highly capable crime fighters with a surplus of combat experience and brain power, and they’re both so doggone likable. Peter’s super-strength and agility, combined with his spider sense and web-shooting are formidable enough, but he also knows how to out-think his opponents. Tim may be an even sharper detective than his mentor, and he’s usually a step (or five) ahead of his foes. He’s also fierce in a battle. But in a face-off between Spider-Man and Red Robin, which young hero would take the title?
She’s a bloodthirsty hunter with a crazy streak and some of the sharpest claws in comics. He lived among lions and eventually went so far off the deep end that he bit off an enemy’s face. Even the bravest hero doesn’t want to get caught slipping with Cheetah and Catman on the prowl. (There have been several Cheetahs, but for purposes of this poll, let’s go with Barbara Minerva.) Minerva has a truckload of advantages including superhuman speed, agility and strength, and she demonstrated her gifts with gusto in Secret Six #3. But as many opponents have learned the hard way, you underestimate Thomas Blake at your peril. He has exceptional hand-to-hand combat and tracking skills, and as a Sixer, he is more than ready for an insane and seemingly fatal challenge. How do you intimidate a guy who’s taken a tour of Hell? So, once the fur settled, who would emerge victorious?
We all know Superman is “faster than a speeding bullet” and shit. Superman is THE man. But, the Speedforce is pretty epic, especially in regards to one Barry Allen. So, Barry Allen with the power of the Speedforce racing Superman with all the might of the yellow sun …
They’re both skilled combatants, exceptionally agile and quick, and they look stunning in black — as Spider-Man and Batman would confirm. But when it comes down to an all-out catfight (sorry; couldn’t resist) between Marvel’s Black Cat and DC’s Catwoman, who would prevail: Felicia Hardy or Selina Kyle?
She was being trained to replace Lady Shiva. He was trained by the League of Assassins. Aside from the years of therapy they have ahead of them, Sin and Damian are some mighty impressive minors. While we do not condone hand-to-hand combat among children, you have to admit that a spat between these two would be interesting — and tough to call. Sin is younger, but after seeing her bring down a bunch of hired killers who invaded her school in the Black Canary miniseries, I wouldn’t underestimate her. On the other hand, Damian is … well, Damian. Meet me at the arcade — it’s goin’ down!
In case you hadn’t noticed, E. and I are pretty good friends; the best of friends actually. While much of our time is spent discussing comics, we, of course, talk about other things. Mrs. Peterman is a happily married gal; I on the other hand am unattached, which usually makes me the provocateur of some rather juicy conversation with my girl. During one of our customary brainstorming sessions, I mentioned that I hadn’t done a versus poll in a little while. E. suggested Batman and Catman. Given Blake’s penchant for random nudity, and Bruce’s just general sexiness, that pretty much sent me into an objectification tailspin, which I promptly incited my friend to join in on. The conversation went thusly:
Me: “Whoa. Girl. I like that idea! If the guys can have Starfire, we can have this … in boxer briefs.”
E: “It’d be like watching mud-wrestling, and it would be fantastic.”
Me: “Shirtless mud-wrestling.”
I’m thinking fictional characters and celebrities are fair game to lust after, and we are especially fond of actors dressed like super heroes. Recently topics covered include the yum sauce poured all over Chris Evans as Captain America, festive objectification of Ryan Reynolds and Nick Jones as Green Lanterns, and Dick Grayson as Nightwing is generally a revolving fantasy.
SO! In the spirit of cheesecake, HAWTNESS, and my fiery … um … inclinations! I give you Batman v. Catman … shirtless.
I don’t roam into the Marvel Universe very often. I happen to really like X-Force, especially X-23. For a while now, I have been trying to think of someone who could hold their own against her. Then the mash-up came to me, Black Alice versus X-23!
Black Alice is wildly powerful with magic. She can gank the powers of any magical being that she’s laid eyes on including the likes of the Spectre and Wonder Woman. She has also proven to be naive and immature, often succumbing to emotionally-driven bad decisions.
X-23 is an expert martial artist who will kill you. I think she could own Lady Shiva. X-23′s heightened senses, healing factor, and pure skill might just give Black Alice one hell of a fight.
We’ve seen these two duke it out a time or two before, and it looks like they’re at it again in this month’s issue of Wonder Woman. So, we’re curious. Do you think the Wonder Warrior would be triumphant, or would PG’s Kryptonian strength bitchiness manage to “pit bull” a win?