Girls Gone Geek

Maybe I had low expectations, but I was surprised by just how good my comics were this week. Everything I pulled was a page-turner with top-notch art.

Green Lantern Corps #49
Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Ardian Syaf
Inks: Vicente Cifuentes
Colors: Randy Mayor w/ Gabe Eltaeb

My love of the Green Lantern books began with the Sinestro Corps War, a great story arc that got me invested in the characters. I was ever so curious to see where the War of Light would lead, and, well, here we are at Brightest Day (aka the Über Meh). I dropped BD from my pull list, and with the writer Peter Tomasi’s departure, I was going to drop GLC, too. This issue has officially changed my mind. Kudos to Ardian Syaf, who is really getting better with his pencils. His powerful facial details impressed me (although thumbs down on Natu’s Wolverine-inspired hairdo). The story was fast-paced with a tinge of suspense. You knew that the Alpha Lanterns were up to some craziness after last issue, but Boodika resorting to maniplulation and trickery … that was unexpected. Now I’m dying to know how they came under the control of Cyborg Superman. I guess it’s a robot thing.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Yanick Paquette
Inks: Michel Lacombe
Colors: Nathan Fairbairn

I’ve come to really enjoy Grant Morrison’s writing. Perhaps it’s my background in philosophy, but I like meta-stories and annotations. I don’t mind working for it with Grant’s stories, because the payoff is often worth it (wildly convoluted, but interesting). After issue #2, I thought I might have to “work for it” yet again. But in comes #3, blazing with clarity and lovely little continuity nuggets tying GM’s obscure references together. I have an idea of where this story is going, and while that could very well change in an instant, I am excited. Grant is a reference junkie; it’s how he rolls. Being that I am one of the two people who LIKED Final Crisis, that makes the references in RoBW even better. Yanick Paquette’s art was a pleasure, especially the background details and his pouty-lipped rendering of Wondy.

Zatanna #2
Writer: Paul Dini
Pencils: Stephane Roux
Inks: Karl Story, Stephane Roux
Colors: John Kalisz

I saved the best for last. I LOVED this issue. Dini’s Zatanna is so damn likeable. As ridiculous as this may sound — she is a magician and all — I could relate to her! After a huge performance, going head-to-head with a mega-sorcerer, and teleporting in to help the JLA, Z. was pooped. The scene of her plopping face-first into bed was perfect! PERFECT! It humanized her, and I found it to be endearing. The most impressive (and powerful) thing about Zatanna though, is her ability to think fast. You’d have to have a quick mind to rattle off words backwards under pressure. It’s harder than you think folks; I’ve tried it. Another highlight of this story is Brother Night. He is creepy¹⁰, horror-movie scary. But the shining stars of issue #2 are the flawlessly executed, beautifully drawn splash pages of Zatanna’s dreams/nightmares. If you aren’t reading this comic, what the hell are you waiting for?

The Return of Bruce Wayne #2 (of 6)
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Frazier Irving
Covers: Andy Kubert and Frazier Irving

Is there any reason DC can’t reboot the Dark Knight as a swashbuckling time-traveler with a case of amnesia? In this second installment of Grant Morrison’s series, Bruce Wayne is edgier, sexier and more mysterious in a 17th Century Puritan getup than in his modern-day cowl. The caveman-themed first issue was fine, but all of Morrison’s Weird Epic flourishes are finally in full effect here. Casting Bruce as a detective in witch trials-era Gotham City is a brilliant move, and from the very first panel, Frazier Irving’s gorgeous art gives the whole thing an appropriately cinematic feel. (Spoilers ahead.)

Known to the pre-colonial Gotham dwellers as Brother Mordecai, Bruce rankles the local witch-hunters by using logic to solve crimes instead of superstition. After a widow blames her husband’s demise on the devil, Bruce quickly concludes that the woman dispatched her spouse with a iron soup ladle. He also later blasts the locals for labeling the woman a witch, and using that as an excuse for water torture. It’s a powerful sequence, one that ends with Bruce going off on his chief critic, Brother Malleus: “I save my fire for foes who’ve earned it. Not widow-women who were most likely beaten by their good Christian husbands until they could bear no more.”

This does not go over well. It doesn’t help that Bruce is involved with Annie, a ferret-loving free spirit who is suspected of practicing witchcraft. Meanwhile, Superman, Booster Gold (feat. Skeets), Green Lantern and Rip Hunter are trying to follow Bruce’s trail through time. I’m not going to pretend that I understand anything that happens in this part of the comic, which involves an encounter with a 64th-Century “biorganic archivist” with a heck of a secret identity. He’s all “anti-entropy aegis” this and “cosmic loom” that. Whatever. I love the way Irving illustrates the four heroes, particularly his vaguely emo take on Superman. Thumbs way up, gentlemen.

Justice League: The Rise of Arsenal #3
Writer: J.T. Krul
Pencils: Geraldo Borges, Kevin Sharpe and Sergio Arino
Inks: Mario Alquiza and John Dell
Cover: Greg Horn

So much for the "rise" of Arsenal!

How do you know a book is bad? When your LCS owner — the dude who makes a living selling people comics — says, “After you read this, go ahead and send me an e-mail and tell me you’re canceling it.”

Three issues in, The Rise of Arsenal has gone from being bad in a somewhat amusing way to bad in an “I’m pissed that I spent $3.99 on this shit” way. It has taken a potentially poignant story — hero loses a child, a limb and his purpose — and turned it into a series of mind-numbing cliches. First, we see Red Arrow and Cheshire working through their anger over their daughter’s death by body-slamming each other. Despite being armed with only a stapler(!) and an extension cord, Roy manages to best his former squeeze, who is only a freaking trained assassin. No sooner than you can say, “Surely, this won’t lead to grief sex,” they’re up against a wall. Yes, for real. Only Roy can’t perform because he’s, you know, grieving.

Our hero ends up in rehab after a reunion with heroin, but I defy you to care after the onslaught of nonsense and unappealing art. Greg Horn’s cover sure is nice, but that’s all I’ve got.

Roy, I think we’re done here.

Cover art by Frank Quitely

I read a bunch of comics this week. Here’s how they stack up, from best to worst:

1. Batman and Robin #10
During its short run, this title has ranged from brilliant to odd to plain inscrutable — in other words, classic Grant Morrison. Fortunately, things are back on the upswing with Andy Clarke’s wonderful art and a storyline pitting Damian Wayne (Robin) against Dick Grayson (Batman). Actually, it’s not Damian who’s gunning for Dick so much as his mama, Talia al-Ghul, who wants her son back at her side. Damian may be an arrogant little shit, but there are signs that he’s grown to respect Dick and even enjoy their partnership. As they search Wayne family portraits for signs that Bruce is alive, Damian seems genuinely glum about the end of his crime-fighting relationship with Dick: “If my father returns, we can’t be Batman and Robin anymore, can we?” Things get even more interesting with the appearance of the mysterious Oberon Sexton, and I’ll be very interested to see how these plot threads tie in with Morrison’s The Return of Bruce Wayne saga.

2. Secret Six #19
Black Alice develops a big, honking crush on Ragdoll. If that doesn’t move you, turn in your longboxes immediately.

3. Ultimate Spider-Man #8
This has long been one of my favorite comics, and the recent focus on Peter Parker’s crowded home life — new girlfriend Gwen Stacey, Johnny Storm, Bobby Drake and ex-girlfriend Kitty Pryde — plays to Brian Michael Bendis’ strengths as a writer. This issue is full of the usual crackling dialogue, but I just wasn’t that into Peter’s neighbor, Rick Jones, who spends roughly half of the book complaining about his new found superpowers as Nova. Being chosen by an alien to help save mankind is heavy stuff for a 16-year-old, but Jones’ extensive, why-me tantrum made me want to smack him. Come to think of it, Johnny Storm wanted to do the same thing. But even on the rare occasion when Ultimate Spidey doesn’t fire on all cylinders, it’s still a good read.

4. Red Robin #10
I love me some Tim Drake, but I didn’t really connect with this book until the last couple of issues. However, #7-9 were downright delightful, illustrating Tim’s considerable ass-whipping/detective skills while introducing a perfect potential girlfriend: button-cute Tam Fox, daughter of Wayne confidante Lucius Fox. Since I’m already way too invested in the Tim/Tam flirtation, Stephanie Brown’s appearance was a serious buzzkill. On the other hand, it was fun to see Stephanie’s Batgirl beat the snot out of a particularly annoying member of the League of Assassins. And I’m still giggling over Alfred’s withering reply to reporter Vicki Vale, who shows up at Wayne Manor looking for Tim: “Master Timothy is far too young for you.” Hee!

5. Justice League Rise and Fall Special
Despite our well-documented loathing of the Black Canary/Green Arrow relationship, there’s no denying that Oliver Queen’s sketchy personal life is good plot fodder. But this one-shot, which takes place immediately after Green Arrow offs Prometheus in Cry for Justice, isn’t about action so much as brooding: Ollie brooding about his maimed son and dead granddaughter; Ollie brooding about hunting down The Electrocutioner; Dinah brooding about Ollie’s fragile state of mind; Justice League members brooding about Ollie’s slide toward the dark side. I’ve generally enjoyed J.T. Krul’s work, but this issue is pretty stagnant. And like V., I’m way over Black Canary following her angry husband around like a wounded groupie. However, there are a few noteworthy moments, like Ollie’s ice-cold rejection of Dick Grayson’s assistance in Star City (It’s my city, “Batman.” Ouch!)  and Barry Allen getting all Judgy McJudgypants when Green Arrow’s lethal act comes to light. But for $3.99, I’d have liked a little more than panels of glowering and fretting.

What did you like this week?

Valentine’s Day got us thinking about love in comics, and how the romantic chemistry between characters can really enhance or diminish a story. Since we’re primarily DC gals, we’re presenting a sampling of DCU couples we love — and those that leave us cold. In no particular order:

HOT!

Renee Montoya (The Question) and Kate Kane (Batwoman): As a couple, Kate and Renee shared a relationship that was tender and passionate. But even before they became superheroes — Renee was a cop and Kate was a soldier — these two could kick some serious ass. The relationship proved too turbulent to last, though issues of 52 and Detective Comics indicated that these two still love each other. Maybe their troubled past or their vigilante alter egos are keeping them apart, but the sparks are definitely still there.

Sasha Bordeaux and Michael Holt (Mr. Terrific): For starters, these two are equals in the hotness department, especially in Lee Bermejo’s cover art. The secrecy of their relationship in Checkmate made it kinda naughty, and it was obvious that they had a deep connection. But once they were found out, duty trumped desire. Their romance, woven into the overall awesomeness of Checkmate, was a Grade-A love affair. Michael watching Sasha “die” in Final Crisis was devastating.

Black Adam and Isis: Isis made Adam a better being, and her love redeemed him. She softened his edges, making him a viable and sympathetic anti-hero as opposed to a one-dimensional, all-powerful villain. Her death, and his subsequent suffering, was incredibly moving.

HATE!

Dick Grayson (Nightwing) and Koriand’r (Starfire): We get it. Starfire is essentially a stripper with superpowers, and we’re certainly not mad at her for rocking Nightwing’s world. But alas, she’s no Barbara Gordon, and their relationship always struck us as, well, lame. It appears that Dick thought so, too, given his final answer to Kori’s do-you-love-me query: “No.”

Dinah Lance (Black Canary) and Oliver Queen (Green Arrow): Let’s face it; Green Arrow is a well-known douchebag, and their marriage completely undermined Gail Simone’s development of Dinah in Birds of Prey. (And how come every time this super-couple gets called to action, the comic cuts to a scene of them getting out of bed and/or Dinah in some truck-stop lingerie?) The nail in the coffin was Ollie’s utterly fucked-up decision to send away Dinah’s adopted daughter, Sin — and letting her think the child was dead before explaining. Dinah can do so much better, and she doesn’t need Ollie (or any guy) to be awesome.

Diana (Wonder Woman) and Tom Tressor (Nemesis): Chocotaco said it all in his earlier guest column. Diana is way, way, way out of Tom’s league, and she’s destined to be with Bruce Wayne anyway. Go, BatWondy, Go!

Tomorrow: Five moments in comics that made us swoon.H34QFP8ZRFQN

Non-geeks like to make jokes about what an unsexy hobby comic-book reading is, but have these people read a comic lately? Last year, I flipped through a Justice League of America issue and stumbled across a scene of Hawk Girl and Red Arrow engaged in one hell of a team-up. Some of those panels will send the unsuspecting reader scrambling for a bucket of cold water.

Which brings me to that dream sequence scene of my favorite Amazon making out with the original Batman in Wonder Woman Blackest Night #2. Yes, I know it was all in Diana’s mind as she fought the influence of the Black Lantern ring, and that Bruce Wayne is currently “dead.” But these two have long been my comic fantasy couple, which made that panel of them smooching, at least for me, the equivalent of geek-girl soft porn. The Thursday morning-after analysis with V. went thusly:

V: “Did you see how they were standing with his leg between hers? Girl, it was kinda dirty.”

Me: “Oh, it would be dirty. With Batman? Definitely.”

It went downhill from there with inappropriate comments about utility belts. Anyway, the moment wouldn’t have been nearly as thrilling if Diana had been dreaming of, say, Hal Jordan. There’s a reason that writers — including those behind the excellent “Justice League” and “Justice League Unlimited” cartoons — have played with the idea of a romantic spark between Batman and Wonder Woman over the years.

They’ve got a couple of important things in common: While Wonder Woman is motivated by her love of humanity, ultimately, she’s all about getting the job done. In her own way, she’s every bit as tenacious and mission-driven as Batman is. (Maybe moreso. Wonder Woman put the drop on Maxwell Lord, something Batman has never been able to do with all-too-deserving villains like the Joker.) Then there’s the privilege factor. They’re not exactly equals — Diana is blessed by deities, after all — but the two share the experience of having extraordinary backgrounds. Diana is a princess, and as the billionaire prince of Gotham City, Bruce certainly qualifies as American royalty. For obvious reasons, neither would expect the other to be home by 5 p.m. with dinner waiting.

The theory that Batman is incapable of having a decent relationship is valid, but I’m not sure I buy it. He may be a brooding asshole with intimacy issues, but he’s still a man. Somehow, I doubt he’d turn down an opportunity to be with someone as formidable, wise and drop-dead beautiful as Wonder Woman. Given Bruce’s sketchy romantic track record — Catwoman, Talia al-Ghul, Jezebel Jet — it’s way past time for him to go legit in the dating department. And really, who better than Wonder Woman to try breaking through all those layers of Kevlar and mistrust? If she couldn’t do it, no one could.

So let’s bring the teasing to an end once and for all, DC. When Mr. Wayne returns from the great beyond, he and Diana are overdue for a little trip to Paradise Island, if you know what I’m saying.

The “Cheeky Ones” hope that you are enjoying your holiday!

We like him when he's angry.

My LCS owner and I were doing our regular news-of-the-week chat when I started griping about the Earth One projects DC has planned for Superman and Batman. Gripe is probably too strong a word, because I’m a big fan of Gary Frank, who’ll be illustrating the Batman arc. However, I said something about being annoyed with the repetition of two very well-worn origin stories, and that as much as I love Batman, I don’t need to see him crouched over his dead parents’ bodies ever again. That’s when the owner pointed out the obvious: “Well, you’re not the target audience for these books.”

Oh.

When I got back into comics in a serious way three years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn’t become the kind of fan who considers a reboot or revision as an affront to his or her childhood. And since I write for a living, I can appreciate the difficulty of keeping a beloved character fresh while being confined by lore and editorial dictates. But there I was, throwing shade on books that aren’t even out yet. God forbid a publisher try to bring newer, younger readers into the fold! While I’d much rather see a great writer breathe new life into a less familiar character, I’m already reading comics. Someone who isn’t in that world is more likely to enter (or re-enter) through a familiar door. And it doesn’t get more familiar than Batman and Superman.

That comic shop exchange reminded me of a Dragon*Con panel about the future of comics that I attended back in September. Panelist Darwyn Cooke, one of my favorite writers, kept it extremely real, referring to modern comic book culture as “an over-35 club.” He pointed out that comic books were never meant to be read by the same audience for 20-plus years. But because the average reader today is more likely to have a mortgage than a homeroom teacher, the demand for continuity, among other things, hangs over many titles. So naturally, someone like me — as opposed to, say, my 9-year-old son — is over Superman’s origin story because they’ve been paying attention to superhero titles for decades. As Frank himself put it, the Earth One project “is a blank slate.”

It’s nice to be reminded that there’s room under the tent for everyone — and that if it doesn’t move me, I don’t have to read it. Besides; despite my grouchy old geek act, they had me at “Gary Frank.”