Trinity Mothers by Yasmin Liang

Batman by Andrei Bressan

“Another Batman book?” — an annoyed Facebook friend

I love Batman. He’s a fascinating hero who is ripe for psychoanalysis and, thanks to many talented creative teams and the loving care of his corporate keepers, has had some of the best stories in comics history. I’m also a Grant Morrison fan, so I’ve already added the relaunched Batman, Inc., which returns to the lineup in May, to my pull list.

But seriously, how much Batman does the world need? He’s already the star of several ongoing comics, and this year we’ll see Geoff Johns and Gary Frank’s Batman: Earth One graphic novel. Don’t forget the Batman: Noel hardcover that dropped before the holidays, and we’re not even counting his appearances in other Bat-related titles or his role in Justice League. DC/Warner Bros. released the animated version of Batman: Year One late last year, and the main event is this summer’s The Dark Knight Rises, the final chapter in Christopher Nolan’s trilogy.

That’s … a lot.

I get it. A handsome billionaire crime-fighter who a) is a genius, b) makes bad guys wet themselves and c) sleeps with beautiful, dangerous women is the stuff fan fantasies are made of. I’m also aware that, with the film coming out, it makes sense for DC to put out even more Bat-product. It’s not like Superman and Green Lantern have exactly been relegated to the dustbin, though I really wish DC would devote half as much attention to other worthy characters. Perhaps Marvel fans feel the same way about, say, Wolverine and Spider-Man.

This isn’t a complaint so much as a question: Is it time to pull back from the Batcave?

Last night I was bagging and boarding my comics. I often put on a movie I’ve seen before just to have some background buzz, and I chose the Wonder Woman animated film. The offspring joined me, not to bag and board, but for the movie. Inevitably, she has questions. She is a curious spirit and I have henceforth dubbed her “The Questionator” (it is her super power). As she is watching the movie, she is curious why Diana isn’t sustaining any broken bones while fighting Ares. I explained Wonder Woman’s super powers, and how she’s pretty much impervious. Then she suggests that a fight between her and Batman would be a good one. I laughed. Clearly, she overrates Batman (just like everyone else); thus, I countered her versus suggestion with Black Canary. She thought about it and concurred. So there we have it, folks. Dinah versus Bruce. Set aside your boyhood bias and remember they both have been trained by Lady Shiva. They are both stellar hand-to-hand combatants. One is a genius and the other is a Meta. AND … just to keep it extra funky-fresh … Gail’s Canary circa Sensei & Student, Morrison’s Bat from, say, Batman & Son. Go.

In the world of many superheroes, killing a villain is verboten. Theoretically, doing so would undermine their moral authority and blur the line between angels and demons — even if the target is a cold-blooded murderer with no remorse and a high recidivism rate. Better to break a few of the bad guy’s bones and ship him or her off to the nearest prison or high-security facility for sociopaths. Right? Not always. Sometimes a character does something so heinous and/or is such a threat to society that a hero is justified in choosing the nuclear option.

I’m speaking specifically of Wonder Woman, who wisely took out evil mastermind Maxwell Lord in the events leading up to Infinite Crisis. Later, in a stunning display of self-righteousness, Batman and Superman castigated her for saving their asses and, possibly, the world. Worse, Wonder Woman eventually was turned into a remorseful sad-sack in post-IC events. Lord was a menace on a global scale. Out of paranoia, he hatched a deadly plan to destroy metahumans, and when Blue Beetle (Ted Kord) found out and refused to join him, Lord put a bullet through the Kord’s head. He then used mind control to sic Superman on Bruce and Diana, and Bruce was lucky to have escaped with his life. Did we mention that he was the driving force behind that scary OMAC cyborg army?

Under the influence of Wonder Woman’s lasso, Lord confessed that the only way to free Superman from his dark influence was to kill him. The lasso doesn’t lie, so Diana snapped Lord’s neck. Yet, she was immediately vilified by her fellow Trinity-mates when the act was broadcast worldwide. Batman, still paranoid from the mind-wipes (See: Identity Crisis), basically told her she should have stayed on her island and to get lost.Continuing the horse’s ass theme, Superman chimed in: “You’re trying to help people you can’t even relate to. … They’re scared of us. They’re scared of us because of you.”

V. and I have talked about this many times, and she has my back. Take it away, V.!

“Bruce is a giant fucking judgment ball. I hated that scene. The premier woman in the DCU was cast out for doing the thing that needed to be done — for being a warrior and perhaps being “masculine?”

Let’s review: Diana stops a maniac from manipulating an insanely powerful being who happens to be a dear friend, and she’s the bad guy? And if Superman was so worried about frightening mankind, why didn’t he consider how much more terrified people would have been if Lord had remained his puppet-master? Talk about bad PR.

I’m not saying that the incident should have been treated lightly. It’s a very big deal when a character as principled as Wonder Woman gets to that point. I can see her being somber and taking it seriously, but not being overly remorseful.

Back to Batman. If anyone should have put the drop on a pathological criminal, it’s him. In the case of the Joker, who has left a long, bloody trail of death, Bruce’s rigid no-killing code is ludicrous. That made his angry criticism of Wonder Woman all the more infuriating. And don’t get me started on Superman’s nemesis, Lex Luthor, another master of serial destruction. (The idea that the DC “can’t” remove the Joker or Lex because they’re legacy villains is another issue.)

One could argue that killing is a slippery slope; that if you start with Maxwell Lord it’s just a matter of time before you’re crushing Killer Moth. But again, this is extreme, relentless menace we’re talking about. Really, what else should Wonder Woman have done with so little time to decide?

This was undoubtedly a dramatic and controversial plot point that got fans talking, and from an editorial standpoint, a strong response is always better than the sound of crickets. But as far as we’re concerned, Diana was done wrong for doing the right thing. (On a side note, major props to Brian Azzarello for giving Wonder Woman her full Amazonian swagger in that first relaunch issue. It’s a beautiful thing.)

Oblivious to our torches and pitchforks, DC is (apparently) pairing Wonder Woman and Aquaman for the upcoming Flashpoint event. Their union will save the world! Whatever. Our investment in BatWondy remains strong and, as should now be obvious, constant.

A while back, I stumbled across illustrator Luckico‘s DeviantArt page and adored many of her pieces. Like all the artists we’ve encountered along the way, she was very nice and genuinely flattered that we enjoyed her work. We corresponded a bit, and the subject of Batman and Wonder Woman came up … leading to the beautiful image above.

I’m a sucker for understated elegance, and Lukico’s interpretation of a Diana-Bruce wedding certainly qualifies. The bride looks radiant and appropriately regal, free of claptrap. No need to gild the Themysciran lily. She’s instantly recognizable (the bracelets), and when I showed the illustration to a friend who doesn’t read comics regularly, he knew exactly who the groom was. “Of course it’s Batman. Look at those shoulders.” It’s enough to send a gal into a fanfic frenzy. Many thanks to the talented Lukico for indulging me.

However, Greg Horn’s BatCat illustration recently set off a debate about when art goes from provocative to offensive. I’m the first to admit that there’s a fine line, and that tastes are very personal. (Our shirtless Batman/Catman poll illustration drew some criticism, for example.) Plus, few kids are reading comics anymore, so the chances of Junior seeing this are slim. In general, I’d rather an artist go over the top than play it safe. Horn has done some lovely work. However, the crouched, ass-in-the-air shot in front of Batman (complete with licking!) disgusted both of us. Catwoman doesn’t have to go there to set off fire alarms. Can you imagine the roles being reversed? I can’t.

What do you think? Is this a silly tempest in a teapot or another disturbing example of blatant sexism in comics? (If nothing else, the image prompted a very funny response from artist Phil Noto.)

Illustration by Coran Stone

Author’s Note: If fan sentimentality of any kind repulses you, please avoid the following essay.

The relationship between Batman and Superman has fascinated me since I was a kid. Equal parts bickering couple, friends, and teammates, they are quite a combo. Their surface differences are interesting enough — Clark’s pastoral and idyllic upbringing (minus that whole exploding planet thing) vs. Bruce’s youth as the orphaned Prince of Gotham. But when a really good writer brings them together, you get a sense of their mutual respect and understanding, in spite of the way they often grate on one another. Though Bruce keeps almost everyone at arm’s length, there’s a certain we-don’t-have-to-discuss-it intimacy in his relationship with Clark. They are the Lennon-McCartney of the Justice League. Perhaps that ‘s why I responded so strongly to the image above (by Trocken via DeviantArt). I’m usually bothered by stories suggesting that Bruce and Clark encountered one another as kids, but there is something really believable and authentic about this.

It has been my experience that opposites attract in friendships and in love. Therefore, I can see sunny, optimistic Clark homing on in brooding, intense Bruce on the first day of middle school and befriending him. I’m not saying they’d be going on double dates, but given their extraordinary backgrounds and mutual brilliance (and let’s not forget that Superman is brilliant), it’s plausible that some kind of relationship would develop. If Lex Luthor hadn’t been such a mega-douche and used his powers for good, he might have been a lot like Bruce. To borrow V.’s brilliant term, Batman and Superman are oppo-sames. (And yes, I know that this scenario flies in the face of canon and would likely result in a very different outcome for these characters, but just indulge me today, OK?) Uh-oh. We gotta quash that Clayface situation by the monkey bars.

Some of my favorite stories involve these two, even when they’re about to scrap. Remember the scene in Darwyn Cook’s Justice League: The New Frontier where Batman almost defeats Superman using nothing but sheer will, cable, and a motorcycle? And then Superman is like, “I can’t be beaten by this … this … human!” More than a few times, Superman has said something along the lines of “You’re out of your mind, but I kinda like the way you roll.” And of course, they have kicked a lot of asses together (See: Public Enemies) and even saved each other’s lives. It’s significant that Clark entrusted Bruce with a bit of Kryptonite, just in case.

In the Dark Knight Returns movie, the Joker famously says to Batman, “You complete me!” I think that line applies more to this dynamic duo.

The Wall

This Power Girl image is simply radiant.

Up, up, and away!

Koza obviously has some affection for Batman, and he depicts the Dark Knight in ways both thoughtful and comical. In this image, Batman’s cape looks almost like a tidal wave, and the stark palette makes it appropriately intense.

Finally, there’s this abstract, alluring Black Cat piece, which would make a great poster or T-shirt image. It’s definitely sexy, but in an almost effortless way. No need to gild the lily.

Uh, sweetie?

Another winner is this illustration of that lovable ruffian, Green Lantern Guy Gardner. With his cocksure grin, he’s about to go make some trouble, and enjoy it immensely.

There’s more Trek goodness with my favorite grumpy physician, Bones McCoy. He’s sweating and annoyed, and he does not have time for your bullshit or more bad news. Perfect.

My God, man!

Finally, there’s this moody, broody image of Superman and Batman, surveying their domain. The image conveys a genuine friendship, and I love the way Batman’s billowing cape serves as a focal point. This is beautiful stuff, and it looks like Ann U. takes commissions. Check her out and show a talented, young artist some love.

That Darkseid mess was crazy, yo.

I’m glad Superman, Batman, Robin got along so fabulously in their early days. But certain covers suggest that there were exploits that were not recorded in the JLA archives. (And please do not leave us an angry note about how warped my mind is or how I’m reading too much into these pristine, utterly sincere comics. I know my mind is warped, and trampling on childhood memories is what WTF? Wednesday does.)

“Remember that languid, sun-dappled afternoon at the swimming hole? Yeah, we’re not gonna mention that to Flash and Green Lantern. They might get the wrong idea. Robin, this is our little secret.” There’s an epic story going on here. Batman’s teasing expression says, “Should we?” Meanwhile, Superman seems vaguely embarrassed, like he’s thinking, “Bruce, this is kinda fucked up. On the other hand, it’s been a long day, and Robin and these half-naked young men seem to be OK with it …”

There are a lot of jokes I could make here about bringing out the big guns or being locked and loaded … oh, wait. I just did. Grayson’s a smug, confident little bastard, isn’t he?

When it comes to “crime-fighting,” sometimes, three’s a crowd. Batman’s clenched-fist jealousy here is palpable, as if he knows that things will never be the same between him and Robin after this night.

1. Which version of Dian’s knickers do you prefer?
Given a choice of Nicola Scott’s taut medium, Jim Lee’s warrior skirt, Ed Benes’ quasi G-string and Aaron Lopresti’s granny britches, the clear winner was …

… Nicola Scott’s version, with 44% of the vote! Jim Lee’s skirt came up a short second, at 34%. A cheeky 15% preferred the thong.

2. Does the Green Lantern Footage Thrill You?

Um, sorta? After seeing the first available clip from the Green Lantern flick, 60% said parts of it looked cool, but the jury was still out. Another 29% said they were all about it on opening weekend, while 11% said they’d rather watch green paint dry.

3. Who Would Win: Batman vs. Catman
Yay, shirtless heroes! This was one of our spicier polls, and emerging victorious was …

Batman, by 64%. Sorry Catman. You’re still hot to death, though.

4. Which Character should V. Cosplay?
As we contemplated cosplay for our next con, V. was torn between Black Canary and alterna-girl Aphrodite IV. By a landslide, you chose …

Black Canary, with 71% of the vote. No word yet on whether V. will rock more than one look, but we’ll keep you posted.

5. Under Straczynkski’s pen, how do you see the future of Wonder Woman?

Though we were cautiously hopeful, we wound up giving JMS the serious side-eye for that preposterous WW reboot. But before Diana donned Janet Jackson’s “Miss You Much” attire, most of you were unsure (56%), while the rest were evenly split (22% each) on whether the book’s future looked bleak or bright.

6. Huntress or Hit-Girl: Who Would Win?
Maybe it wasn’t fair to pit a 12-year-old against a Bird of Prey, but Hit-Girl is a tough gal. The winner was …

Huntress aka Iron Owl, with 57%. However, Hit-Girl had a respectable 43% — not bad for a kid.

Speaking of kids …

7. Sin vs. Damian: Who Would Win?

If you guys had your druthers, Sin, who took nearly 56% of the vote would kick Damian’s ass across the playground and back. My very favorite comment came from Nona Mills: “I hate the arrogant little sod and reckon Sin will have him for lunch.”  Watch your back, Damian!

8. To Care or Not To Care: Teen Titans
Just before their debut of the new creative team, J.T. Krul and Nicola Scott, we asked whether the announcement was enough to get you reading this beleaguered book again. The results?

Most of you, 44%, were not feeling it, saying the book was broken and in need of a wholesale reboot. Another 32% said you were wary, but willing to give it a try. 24% had already added it to their pull lists. (Listen to the 24%, because Krul and Scott’s first two issues have been mighty good!)

Thanks for voting, and more poll goodness is on the way in 2011.

Wonder Woman and Batman by Celina Hernandez

Connecting with writers and artists we admire is something V. and I have enjoyed immensely since starting this blog. They often turn out to be as gracious as they are talented, and artist Celina Hernandez is no exception. Among other things, Celina does the delightful art for Brian Andersen’s Reignbow and Dee-Va, and So Super Duper — two comics you should definitely check out. Just for Girls Gone Geek, she illustrated this BatWondy image, which is just plain beautiful. What I love about this piece is its powerful simplicity. Bruce is practically enveloping Diana with love, and (squeal!) she’s caressing his face. I’d barely recovered from our 12 Days of BatWondy series, and this has sent me right back to Swoon Island. In any case, we’re very happy to share this lovely, romantic moment with the world. Thank you, Celina!

Bruce and Tim hug it out.

A new year is upon us, and V. and I are excited about all the comics goodness that awaits in 2011. Over the next few days, however, we’ll be taking a look back at the moments — the good and the bad — that got us talking in 2010.

Though they’re in no particular order, I gotta say that the panel above, from Red Robin #17, is somewhere in my top three. Tenderness is not one of Bruce Wayne’s strong suits, which is precisely why Marcus To’s illustration packed such a wallop. Following the events of Final Crisis, many Red Robin stories focused on Tim’s belief that Bruce was still alive, and his resulting angst. That made the payoff extra sweet, and one gets the feeling that being lost in time has a way of making someone — even Batman – a little more appreciative of the ones they love. Simple and effective. And no, I’m not (sniffle) crying.

With the tonnage of being super-heroes weighing on their respective shoulders, this moment of whimsy is adorable to the tenth power. I love how Wonder Woman demurely floats in to lock lips with her man. Bruce still has his stoic swag fully intact, aside from the cape gripping, of course. Hints of passion like that happen to be all kinds of sexy. Me thinks he likes it … maybe he even loves it.

P.S. This makes me miss the classic Wonder Woman costume SO MUCH!

As part of our ongoing campaign for DC to make Wonder Woman and Batman a proper supercouple, V. and I are launching the Girls Gone Geek Twelve Days of BatWondy. We’re of the opinion that these two are perfect for one another, and after so many moments of innuendo and imagined make-out sessions, it’s time to close the deal. There is only so much teasing a fangirl can stand.

This first wordless image, by Amilcar Pinna, is one of my favorites. It conveys their personalities (Bruce stoic; Diana regal) and their heroism while implying togetherness. I can imagine Diana saying, “Sorry I’m late, dearest. Cheetah. Your plane or mine?” Gorgeous.

Bruce Wayne as Batman by David Finch

Bruce Wayne as Batman is by far the most iconic figure in the DCU, and certainly a mega fan-favorite. I have to admit that I am not a fan of Batman. Part of the reason is that so many marketing resources are spent on him, and him alone, when there are many other characters deserving of some attention. Also, he pissed me off when he judged Diana for killing Max Lord. For someone who wasn’t really feeling you in the first place, then you get all high and mighty on a one-time goddess? Bitch, please.

Fast forward to Final Crisis. I love Final Crisis. I know it got all smooshed and convoluted at the end, but the layers and implications of that story were fascinating to me. We all now know what happened there, and have lived an entire year without Bruce Wayne. True, I’ve had The Return of Bruce Wayne to chew on for the past six months, but it gave me sort of an odd feeling. It was Bruce, but it was him through time; Bruce doing the genius shit that he does, but not quite the same as him being in the present DCU.

Ultimately, I think the stories told in Bruce Wayne’s “absence” have been iconic in their own right, and consisted of some really high caliber writing. There is something magical about Morrison’s Batman and Robin that has sated the appetite for Bruce. Damian has been a shit ton of fun, and one of the more interesting characters of 2010. Dick makes a good Batman. It works, it is believable, and Dick deserved the upgrade. Seriously though, Dick is no Bruce.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve got it bad for Morrison’s writing in general. Truthfully, I have only been reading these stories because Morrison is writing them, and because I am sniffing at continuity from Seven Soldiers and Final Crisis. They just happen to be about Batman.

Now … the Batman is back. I was monumentally surprised at just how moving Batman: The Return was. His presence is undeniable, and it feels surreal. My heart actually leapt with joy reading Bruce as Batman.

Er, really? WTH? I don’t even like Batman, but I missed Bruce?

Somewhere along the way, I started to feel a vacancy because of Bruce’s absence. Batman: The Return exemplified all the reasons why. The book was absolutely ideal. It was so authentically Bruce Wayne, and it rocked my socks off.

First of all, I was super-delighted by Morrison’s partial script included with the issue. There was jizz. In my pants.

DC could not have chosen a more perfect artist on the book. David Finch’s pencils created a profound and moving experience. It was dark and ominous, but beautiful and powerful. In a celebratory conversation about the issue, a fellow comic lover said it best: Finch’s art conveyed the gravity of Bruce’s return flawlessly.

There were also some perfect character moments. The giant voice-activated air bag to break his fall from a building, Bruce’s mention of Talia’s probable dismay at Damian’s current lot, the mission he and Damian went on and their banter, the access he gives Oracle to “Internet 3.0,” and the avatar ode to her as Batgirl. Squee.

By far, the book’s most poignant panel is Bruce and Alfred walking side by side up the stairs in the Batcave. It includes what may very well be one of the greatest lines in DC Comics history: “We soldier on undaunted, you and I, master Bruce. And if I may say so, sir … I couldn’t beg, borrow or steal a finer way to live my life.”

The void that existed in the DCU existed in me too, and it was filled by Batman: The Return.

Me: “Whoa. Girl. I like that idea! If the guys can have Starfire, we can have this … in boxer briefs.”

E: “It’d be like watching mud-wrestling, and it would be fantastic.”

Me: “Shirtless mud-wrestling.”

I’m thinking fictional characters and celebrities are fair game to lust after, and we are especially fond of actors dressed like super heroes. Recently topics covered include the yum sauce poured all over Chris Evans as Captain America, festive objectification of Ryan Reynolds and Nick Jones as Green Lanterns, and Dick Grayson as Nightwing is generally a revolving fantasy.

SO! In the spirit of cheesecake, HAWTNESS, and my fiery … um … inclinations! I give you Batman v. Catman … shirtless.

In the late ’60s, rumors swirled that Paul McCartney had died in a 1966 car accident, and that the Beatles went to great lengths to keep his death a secret. How? By replacing him with a lookalike. Really. Folks were examining album covers and playing records backward for clues, probably aided by copious amounts of herbal supplements. DC took that ball and ran with it in 1970 — the year the Beatles broke up — putting Batman and Robin on the case of “Saul Cartwright” and the “Oliver Twists” in Batman #222. Only in this version of the urban legend, Saul/Paul was the only surviving member of the band, since the other three had perished in a plane crash. “Glennan,” “Hal” and “Benji” had been replaced by actors. Heavy, man.

As goofy as this seems by today’s standards, the story has a kind of whimsy that I really miss in modern comics. Yeah, a lot of the stuff that was printed in decades past doesn’t hold up, and some of it was downright terrible. But you can’t deny that the Neal Adams cover rocks, and admit it; the plot sounds cool in a classic “Scooby-Doo” episode kind of way. I am not ashamed to say that I wish this Fab bit of WTF-ery was in my collection.

Many, many thanks to reader Natalie S. for bringing this to our attention!

Knight and Squire #1
Writer: Paul Cornell
Art: Jimmy Broxton
Covers: Yanick Paquette and Billy Tucci
Knight and Squire are British analogs of Batman and Robin, but they’re hardly carbon copies in this oh-so entertaining first issue. This book hums with humor and bubbly, candy-colored art, and despite the Yankee-confounding language in the opening pages, it’s thoroughly accessible. It’s the very British-ness of Knight and Squire that makes it such an entertaining and thought-provoking read. All the action takes place in a London pub that’s crawling with good guys, bad guys and sketchy blokes in between, and it’s a perfect introductory setting. Sure, there are some dustups, but I liked the talky aspect — the discussion of English class structure and the Americans’ more aggressive, can-do approach to heroism and villainy. The characters, including the Joker’s less ambitious counterpart, the Jester, and Double Entendre are a hoot. And since I’m such a huge Beatles fan, the references to the Fab Four and Paul McCartney’s subsequent band, Wings, were, well, fab. Verdict: Brilliant!

Tiny Titans/Little Archie #1
Writers: Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani
Art and cover: Art Baltazar
Tiny Titans obliterated the “just for kids” label almost right out of the gate, and it continues to be a joy to read. As someone who spent many a childhood afternoon with the little Archies, I think including the Riverdale gang was a stroke of utter genius. This issue is undiluted fun, revolving around a Robin-Archie mixup. Art Baltazar has this amazing ability to capture the essence of characters with deceptively simple pencil work — Betty’s wide-eyed goodness, Reggie’s smirky troublemaker thing and Jughead’s future stoner vibe. The jokes about Archie’s classic tic-tac-toe hairdo, as well as the relationship between Mrs. Grundy and Solomon Grundy, were delightful. Let’s put it this way: I read this before my children did. Verdict: Aw yeah!

Bruce Wayne, the Road Home/Red Robin One-Shot
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Ramon Bachs and John Lucas
Cover: Shane Davis
File this under “Filler.” It’s not a bad issue, but it doesn’t do much to move the Bruce Wayne Returns saga forward. The story restates what readers of this title already know: Tim/Red Robin has become an even better detective and combatant since adopting his new persona, and his challenge is to balance the light with the dark. (Sounds like a “Clone Wars” episode.) Bruce seems a tad  insecure about the power shift, because as much as Tim wanted his mentor back, does he really need him? And what’s with the Robocop suit? The fact that Red Robin is sexually terrified of the bald assassin Prudence did make me giggle, though. This isn’t the first time a tough lady has more or less invited him to a handcuff/headboard party (See: Ravager). Must be the cape. Verdict: 90-percent pointless.

Bruce Wayne, the Road Home/Batman and Robin One-Shot
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Cliff Richards
Cover: Shane Davis
This one-shot fares a little better, perhaps because it delves a little more into Bruce’s thoughts about returning to the Bat-fold. His inner critic is on full display here: On the one hand, he admires Dick’s ability to ingratiate and intimidate as Batman 2.0, and he’s clearly impressed by the way he’s handled the toughest job of all: reigning Damian in. On the other hand, he seems to think Dick is a little too easygoing in the role, and it came across — perhaps intentionally — as ever-so-slight hating. But considering that the dude just willed himself back through time, let’s cut him some slack. He’s been under some stress. Overall, I like the way Nicieza lays out Bruce’s inner monologue, and the art is fine. Vicki Vale, one of my favorite comics journalists/muckrakers, is a significant supporting character. Verdict: Not bad.

Welcome to Tranquility #4
Writer: Gail Simone
Art: Horacio Domingues
Cover: Neil Googe and Rench
It is officially on and popping in Tranquility. There are villains and there are villains, but is there anything worse than having a kid who grows up to be a sadistic murderer? I’m going to go with no. But that’s what former Mayor Alex Fury and Pink Bunny are up against in this issue as their son, Derek, rumored to be dead, returns home and starts tearing stuff up. This guy isn’t just evil, but gleeful about blazing a trail of mayhem. If you’re a parent, you can’t help but imagine the shock and shame Fury and Bunny are dealing with. Meanwhile, Sheriff Lindo has to protect her town while trying to save her sister Seresa, whom Derek has gravely wounded. The best part of issue #4 is seeing Minxy Minerva prove that she’s still a hero to be reckoned with. I wish I had liked the artwork a little more, as I tend to prefer a lighter touch. But man, I can’t wait to see how this plays out. Verdict: All kinds of good.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne
Writer: Grant Morrison
Art: Ryan Sook, Pere Perez and Nick Gray
Covers: Andy Kubert and Ryan Sook
The world’s greatest detective as a P.I. in a noir setting? Perfect. This crime, bullets and dames-themed chapter of Bruce’s time-traveling journey is another gripping issue from the merry mind of Grant Morrison. The words “epic event” are overused, but taken together, the five issues in this series have earned the title. We’ve seen different sides of Bruce Wayne in each era, and yet, he’s still essentially the Batman we all know — even with a wicked case of amnesia. This time, a hospitalized Bruce is recruited by a sultry actress who claims to be a friend of the recently murdered Martha Wayne. The accusations against Thomas Wayne as having led a sordid double life figure prominently in this issue. And the more I learn about the Black Glove, the more I feel the need to take a shower. It’s trippy to see Bruce questioning his own grandmother about his mother’s demise, though he’s unaware of the connection. And that ending? Whoa. Verdict: Holy must read, Batman!

Fierce!

You want cosplay? You can’t handle Batman’s cosplay, baby! Apparently feeling restricted by his mid-century black-and-gray ensemble, Bats went over the rainbow in Detective Comics #241 and got himself a Skittles-inspired wardrobe. So many moods, so little time. This cover, like many early Batman-related covers, is pure WTF genius: First, there’s Robin’s Captain Obvious routine. But what really takes it over the top is Batman’s grim determination — his commitment — to wear a different-colored costume every night. “Screw you and your primary-colored frippery, Superman! I’m bringing the hotness to the JLA, and we both know it.”

I have no idea what this issue is about, and it doesn’t matter. If loving *Hot Pink Batman is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

*I don’t care what Robin says. That ain’t red.

If you’ve been a geek for any length of time, you’ve likely encountered your Scott and Jean — a comic book topic that makes you so angry that you can’t discuss it without going completely off. I’m not talking casual disdain, but full, frightening-the-children rage. As someone who was deeply affected by Batman: A Death in the Family when it was originally published, I’d long considered Jason Todd’s return from the grave to be my Scott and Jean. Especially since said return has often amounted to little more than violent douchery. (Big spoilers ahead.)

While I eventually reached a sort of Zen acceptance about Jason’s resurrection, I had no intention of watching, let alone enjoying, the animated film adaptation of Judd Winick’s Batman: Under the Red Hood. My husband ordered it On Demand, and after a long day, I simply didn’t have the will to get off the couch. The bottom line: Jason’s presence remains problematic in a bigger sense, but it works surprisingly well in a self-contained story. And despite the inherent cheapness of bringing characters back from the dead, Under the Red Hood has some truly gripping moments that evoke the raw sadness of A Death in the Family.

Nothing annoys Bruce Wayne like a fellow vigilante, particularly one who has no problem capping criminals. So when a nouveau Red Hood shows up in Gotham City and starts blowing shit up, Bruce and Dick Grayson (still Nightwing in this context) go after him. Even if you’re not familiar with the Judd Winick-penned comics the movie is based on, it doesn’t take much to figure out Mr. Hood’s identity. After all, the story is punctuated with flashbacks of Bruce and Jason’s time together as Batman and Robin, including the latter’s sickening death at the Joker’s hand. That scene alone is worthy of a PG-13 rating, so make no mistake: Under the Red Hood is not appropriate for small or sensitive children.

Speaking of the Joker, John DiMaggio’s voice work as the cackling menace to society is excellent. His delivery is alternately ha-ha funny and ha-ha-now-he’s-freaking-me-out creepy. Bruce Greenwood is a solid Batman, and you can never go wrong with Neil Patrick Harris, who gives voice to Nightwing. Jensen Ackles is fine, if not memorable, as Jason Todd. The animation is well executed, and it’s more fluid than some of the earlier DC direct-to-DVD offerings.

Under the Red Hood is sure to rekindle the conversation about Batman’s no-killing code, particularly where the Joker is concerned. As the Red Hood himself puts it, we’re not talking about Penguin or Harvey Dent (Two-Face), but a serial, gleeful murderer who beat an adolescent to death and put Barbara Gordon in a wheelchair. Seriously; go back and look at those panels of the Joker clubbing Jason with a crowbar and tell me that guy doesn’t deserve far worse than a presidential suite at Arkham. (Gee, maybe THIS is my Scott and Jean.) I get Bruce’s concern about tumbling into the abyss, but somehow, I think he’d be OK. And this being DC, it’d only be a matter of time before the Joker came back to life!

My non-geek spouse, who completely dug this movie, had the advantage of being able to view it without the continuity baggage. We both agreed that the final scene is real heart-tugger, but it also reminded me of what an awkward position Jason Todd now occupies within the DC Universe. Considering all he’s been through — including the readers’ decision to off him in the first place — I can’t help but think he deserves more than a gold Crazy Medal.

John Hamm was born to play Bruce Wayne.

It’s so obvious, and yet it didn’t occur to me until I was in the middle of a “Mad Men” marathon a few weeks ago. If you’ve watched the show, you know that Hamm’s portrayal of tortured soul/sexy scoundrel Don Draper is one of the best things on television. There are already so many elements of classic Bruce Wayne in Draper, a ‘60s-era Manhattan ad man with more secrets than a Hollywood starlet’s plastic surgeon. Besides, we know Hamm has love for the geeks, as demonstrated by his Funny or Die video turn as Lex Luthor.

And just look at the man. In a tux. Meow! (Warning: Images may cause spontaneous drooling.)

In the “Batman” movie of my dreams, Hamm would play an older, wearier Dark Knight in a more classic bat-suit and setting. While origin stories make financial sense for studios, they’re also kinda played out. It’s potentially much more interesting to see a character after the superhero bloom is off the rose. When you’ve spent years fighting twisted villains like the Joker, Hush and Scarecrow, how does that affect your relationships with other people, to say nothing of your psyche? And what happens when you’re cruising toward middle age and your body, however rigorously trained, has taken repeated beatings? In Batman’s case, the results rarely have been pretty, but often gripping.

This isn’t intended as a slam of Bale, who has been a perfectly solid Batman. However, I think a quieter, more mature-skewing version of Bruce Wayne’s story would appeal to a lot of moviegoers, especially with the talented Hamm on board. Must every cape movie be based on the (presumed) fantasies of 15-year-old boys? And yes, I’m aware that this idea probably has zero chance of becoming a reality. A gal can dream.

As long as I’m playing studio overlord, I’m casting Christina Hendricks, who plays “Mad Men” bombshell office manager Joan Holloway, as Vicki Vale. Hollywood, if you insist on pimping the same A-list heroes over and over, at least make it interesting.

Green Lantern Corps #49
Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Ardian Syaf
Inks: Vicente Cifuentes
Colors: Randy Mayor w/ Gabe Eltaeb

My love of the Green Lantern books began with the Sinestro Corps War, a great story arc that got me invested in the characters. I was ever so curious to see where the War of Light would lead, and, well, here we are at Brightest Day (aka the Über Meh). I dropped BD from my pull list, and with the writer Peter Tomasi’s departure, I was going to drop GLC, too. This issue has officially changed my mind. Kudos to Ardian Syaf, who is really getting better with his pencils. His powerful facial details impressed me (although thumbs down on Natu’s Wolverine-inspired hairdo). The story was fast-paced with a tinge of suspense. You knew that the Alpha Lanterns were up to some craziness after last issue, but Boodika resorting to maniplulation and trickery … that was unexpected. Now I’m dying to know how they came under the control of Cyborg Superman. I guess it’s a robot thing.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Yanick Paquette
Inks: Michel Lacombe
Colors: Nathan Fairbairn

I’ve come to really enjoy Grant Morrison’s writing. Perhaps it’s my background in philosophy, but I like meta-stories and annotations. I don’t mind working for it with Grant’s stories, because the payoff is often worth it (wildly convoluted, but interesting). After issue #2, I thought I might have to “work for it” yet again. But in comes #3, blazing with clarity and lovely little continuity nuggets tying GM’s obscure references together. I have an idea of where this story is going, and while that could very well change in an instant, I am excited. Grant is a reference junkie; it’s how he rolls. Being that I am one of the two people who LIKED Final Crisis, that makes the references in RoBW even better. Yanick Paquette’s art was a pleasure, especially the background details and his pouty-lipped rendering of Wondy.

Zatanna #2
Writer: Paul Dini
Pencils: Stephane Roux
Inks: Karl Story, Stephane Roux
Colors: John Kalisz

I saved the best for last. I LOVED this issue. Dini’s Zatanna is so damn likeable. As ridiculous as this may sound — she is a magician and all — I could relate to her! After a huge performance, going head-to-head with a mega-sorcerer, and teleporting in to help the JLA, Z. was pooped. The scene of her plopping face-first into bed was perfect! PERFECT! It humanized her, and I found it to be endearing. The most impressive (and powerful) thing about Zatanna though, is her ability to think fast. You’d have to have a quick mind to rattle off words backwards under pressure. It’s harder than you think folks; I’ve tried it. Another highlight of this story is Brother Night. He is creepy¹⁰, horror-movie scary. But the shining stars of issue #2 are the flawlessly executed, beautifully drawn splash pages of Zatanna’s dreams/nightmares. If you aren’t reading this comic, what the hell are you waiting for?

Is there any reason DC can’t reboot the Dark Knight as a swashbuckling time-traveler with a case of amnesia? In this second installment of Grant Morrison’s series, Bruce Wayne is edgier, sexier and more mysterious in a 17th Century Puritan getup than in his modern-day cowl. The caveman-themed first issue was fine, but all of Morrison’s Weird Epic flourishes are finally in full effect here. Casting Bruce as a detective in witch trials-era Gotham City is a brilliant move, and from the very first panel, Frazier Irving’s gorgeous art gives the whole thing an appropriately cinematic feel. (Spoilers ahead.)

Known to the pre-colonial Gotham dwellers as Brother Mordecai, Bruce rankles the local witch-hunters by using logic to solve crimes instead of superstition. After a widow blames her husband’s demise on the devil, Bruce quickly concludes that the woman dispatched her spouse with a iron soup ladle. He also later blasts the locals for labeling the woman a witch, and using that as an excuse for water torture. It’s a powerful sequence, one that ends with Bruce going off on his chief critic, Brother Malleus: “I save my fire for foes who’ve earned it. Not widow-women who were most likely beaten by their good Christian husbands until they could bear no more.”

This does not go over well. It doesn’t help that Bruce is involved with Annie, a ferret-loving free spirit who is suspected of practicing witchcraft. Meanwhile, Superman, Booster Gold (feat. Skeets), Green Lantern and Rip Hunter are trying to follow Bruce’s trail through time. I’m not going to pretend that I understand anything that happens in this part of the comic, which involves an encounter with a 64th-Century “biorganic archivist” with a heck of a secret identity. He’s all “anti-entropy aegis” this and “cosmic loom” that. Whatever. I love the way Irving illustrates the four heroes, particularly his vaguely emo take on Superman. Thumbs way up, gentlemen.

Justice League: The Rise of Arsenal #3
Writer: J.T. Krul
Pencils: Geraldo Borges, Kevin Sharpe and Sergio Arino
Inks: Mario Alquiza and John Dell
Cover: Greg Horn

So much for the "rise" of Arsenal!

How do you know a book is bad? When your LCS owner — the dude who makes a living selling people comics — says, “After you read this, go ahead and send me an e-mail and tell me you’re canceling it.”

Three issues in, The Rise of Arsenal has gone from being bad in a somewhat amusing way to bad in an “I’m pissed that I spent $3.99 on this shit” way. It has taken a potentially poignant story — hero loses a child, a limb and his purpose — and turned it into a series of mind-numbing cliches. First, we see Red Arrow and Cheshire working through their anger over their daughter’s death by body-slamming each other. Despite being armed with only a stapler(!) and an extension cord, Roy manages to best his former squeeze, who is only a freaking trained assassin. No sooner than you can say, “Surely, this won’t lead to grief sex,” they’re up against a wall. Yes, for real. Only Roy can’t perform because he’s, you know, grieving.

Our hero ends up in rehab after a reunion with heroin, but I defy you to care after the onslaught of nonsense and unappealing art. Greg Horn’s cover sure is nice, but that’s all I’ve got.

Roy, I think we’re done here.

Cover art by Frank Quitely

I read a bunch of comics this week. Here’s how they stack up, from best to worst:

1. Batman and Robin #10
During its short run, this title has ranged from brilliant to odd to plain inscrutable — in other words, classic Grant Morrison. Fortunately, things are back on the upswing with Andy Clarke’s wonderful art and a storyline pitting Damian Wayne (Robin) against Dick Grayson (Batman). Actually, it’s not Damian who’s gunning for Dick so much as his mama, Talia al-Ghul, who wants her son back at her side. Damian may be an arrogant little sod, but there are signs that he’s grown to respect Dick and even enjoy their partnership. As they search Wayne family portraits for signs that Bruce is alive, Damian seems genuinely glum about the end of his crime-fighting relationship with Dick: “If my father returns, we can’t be Batman and Robin anymore, can we?” Things get even more interesting with the appearance of the mysterious Oberon Sexton, and I’ll be very interested to see how these plot threads tie in with Morrison’s The Return of Bruce Wayne saga.

2. Secret Six #19
Black Alice develops a big, honking crush on Ragdoll. If that doesn’t move you, turn in your longboxes immediately.

3. Ultimate Spider-Man #8
This has long been one of my favorite comics, and the recent focus on Peter Parker’s crowded home life — new girlfriend Gwen Stacey, Johnny Storm, Bobby Drake and ex-girlfriend Kitty Pryde — plays to Brian Michael Bendis’ strengths as a writer. This issue is full of the usual crackling dialogue, but I just wasn’t that into Peter’s neighbor, Rick Jones, who spends roughly half of the book complaining about his new found superpowers as Nova. Being chosen by an alien to help save mankind is heavy stuff for a 16-year-old, but Jones’ extensive, why-me tantrum made me want to smack him. Come to think of it, Johnny Storm wanted to do the same thing. But even on the rare occasion when Ultimate Spidey doesn’t fire on all cylinders, it’s still a good read.

4. Red Robin #10
I love me some Tim Drake, but I didn’t really connect with this book until the last couple of issues. However, #7-9 were downright delightful, illustrating Tim’s considerable ass-whipping/detective skills while introducing a perfect potential girlfriend: button-cute Tam Fox, daughter of Wayne confidante Lucius Fox. Since I’m already way too invested in the Tim/Tam flirtation, Stephanie Brown’s appearance was a serious buzzkill. On the other hand, it was fun to see Stephanie’s Batgirl beat the snot out of a particularly annoying member of the League of Assassins. And I’m still giggling over Alfred’s withering reply to reporter Vicki Vale, who shows up at Wayne Manor looking for Tim: “Master Timothy is far too young for you.” Hee!

5. Justice League Rise and Fall Special
Despite our well-documented loathing of the Black Canary/Green Arrow relationship, there’s no denying that Oliver Queen’s sketchy personal life is good plot fodder. But this one-shot, which takes place immediately after Green Arrow offs Prometheus in Cry for Justice, isn’t about action so much as brooding: Ollie brooding about his maimed son and dead granddaughter; Ollie brooding about hunting down The Electrocutioner; Dinah brooding about Ollie’s fragile state of mind; Justice League members brooding about Ollie’s slide toward the dark side. I’ve generally enjoyed J.T. Krul’s work, but this issue is pretty stagnant. And like V., I’m way over Black Canary following her angry husband around like a wounded groupie. However, there are a few noteworthy moments, like Ollie’s ice-cold rejection of Dick Grayson’s assistance in Star City (It’s my city, “Batman.” Ouch!)  and Barry Allen getting all Judgy McJudgypants when Green Arrow’s lethal act comes to light. But for $3.99, I’d have liked a little more than panels of glowering and fretting.

What did you like this week?