SIGH.

This familiar scenario was taken to the extreme in the fall of 2007, when our girl Dinah consented to marry off-on squeeze and very bad boy Oliver Queen/Green Arrow. Her acceptance monologue was an amazing feat of rationalization, especially under the circumstances in Black Canary #4. In an effort to save Dinah and her beloved adopted daughter Sin from the League of Assassins, Ollie orchestrated a plan that involved faking Sin’s death and having his son, Connor, escort her to a secluded monastery. He allowed Dinah to believe that Sin had been killed so that her grief would appear authentic to the League. She not only forgave Ollie for this act, but also spun some bullshit about how, after a lifetime of selfishness, he finally did something decent.

Dinah: “You ask me to marry you, and I keep waiting for the playboy to rear his ugly head. And then you go and pull this with Sin. You could’ve just rescued her and had me. Instead, you throw away our future for the good of a little girl you hardly know.”

Ollie: “All I needed to know is that you would give your life for her.”

Dinah: “Exactly. For once, Ollie wasn’t even part of the equation.”

Ow. My brain hurts.

This was an utterly ridiculous, callous move to get rid of an inconvenient character and pave the way for a wedding that Black Canary fans didn’t want. The only way to “save” Sin was to send her packing, essentially erasing her from Dinah’s life? Sure, there was some lip service about visits and long-distance parenting, but come on now. I don’t blame writer Tony Bedard for any of this, which has “editorial dictate” written all over it.

For several issues of this miniseries and Birds of Prey, we saw Dinah talk about how dearly she loved Sin, an interesting character who was discovering childhood after years of being raised to kill. I was looking forward to seeing how Dinah would juggle single motherhood with superheroics, and her fellow Birds would have made excellent aunties. But then BoP was cancelled, and everything began to revolve around getting Dinah and Ollie to the altar. I guess the wedding special was kind of cute, but the ensuing comic, Green Arrow/Black Canary was not. And as we’ve pointed out before, Dinah’s marriage to Ollie has often undermined her swagger. Since I hate Ollie just a tiny bit less than V. does, I will admit that he has a certain rakish charm, and archers are inherently sexy. But considering this relationship’s troubled history and his well-documented issues with monogamy, their continued coupling seems forced and pointless.

I’m holding out hope that Sin will make a return (For a moment, I thought she was White Canary, despite the age gap), and that Dinah will either find her voice in this marriage or wash her hands of this bad romance for good.

Prometheus’ death was the only shining moment in Cry for Justice, which is one of the most sucktastic stories I’ve ever read, rivaled only by Chuck Dixon’s Birds of Prey run (and, OK, Trinity). There were times when I was so irritated that I just wanted to throw the book at the wall.

Case in point: In issue #5, Ollie shows up on the JLA satellite after having been gone for who knows how long chasing leads to find Prometheus. There is a moment between him and Dinah that made me want to claw my eyes out. She sort of pulls him aside and asks him where he’s been. He blows her off, and she gives a codependent monologue about how she’s lost faith in herself without his cheating, arrow-toting ass.

The panel doubles the cheese factor by showing a single tear running down Dinah’s face, followed by a wildly disrespectful retort from Green Arrow.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Look, I realize Dinah and Ollie are married, but that reaction was bullshit. I mean, after all the things Dinah has endured because of her relationship with this guy, she would hardly turn into a crybaby because he ran off with Hal Jordan for a spell. Portraying such an incredibly strong, capable character as “lost” without this man makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth. I am so over her being an accessory to Ollie.

DC, I sincerely hope that Green Arrow’s status as a true cad and, now, a murderer, opens the door for Dinah to walk right out of this demeaning relationship. Please let Gail write up the divorce papers. Thaw her out from her time in the freezer, and then justice will be served.

HOT!

Renee Montoya (The Question) and Kate Kane (Batwoman): As a couple, Kate and Renee shared a relationship that was tender and passionate. But even before they became superheroes — Renee was a cop and Kate was a soldier — these two could kick some serious ass. The relationship proved too turbulent to last, though issues of 52 and Detective Comics indicated that these two still love each other. Maybe their troubled past or their vigilante alter egos are keeping them apart, but the sparks are definitely still there.

Sasha Bordeaux and Michael Holt (Mr. Terrific): For starters, these two are equals in the hotness department, especially in Lee Bermejo’s cover art. The secrecy of their relationship in Checkmate made it kinda naughty, and it was obvious that they had a deep connection. But once they were found out, duty trumped desire. Their romance, woven into the overall awesomeness of Checkmate, was a Grade-A love affair. Michael watching Sasha “die” in Final Crisis was devastating.

Black Adam and Isis: Isis made Adam a better being, and her love redeemed him. She softened his edges, making him a viable and sympathetic anti-hero as opposed to a one-dimensional, all-powerful villain. Her death, and his subsequent suffering, was incredibly moving.

HATE!

Dick Grayson (Nightwing) and Koriand’r (Starfire): We get it. Starfire is essentially a stripper with superpowers, and we’re certainly not mad at her for rocking Nightwing’s world. But alas, she’s no Barbara Gordon, and their relationship always struck us as, well, lame. It appears that Dick thought so, too, given his final answer to Kori’s do-you-love-me query: “No.”

Dinah Lance (Black Canary) and Oliver Queen (Green Arrow): Let’s face it; Green Arrow is a well-known douchebag, and their marriage completely undermined Gail Simone’s development of Dinah in Birds of Prey. (And how come every time this super-couple gets called to action, the comic cuts to a scene of them getting out of bed and/or Dinah in some truck-stop lingerie?) The nail in the coffin was Ollie’s utterly fucked-up decision to send away Dinah’s adopted daughter, Sin — and letting her think the child was dead before explaining. Dinah can do so much better, and she doesn’t need Ollie (or any guy) to be awesome.

Diana (Wonder Woman) and Tom Tressor (Nemesis): Chocotaco said it all in his earlier guest column. Diana is way, way, way out of Tom’s league, and she’s destined to be with Bruce Wayne anyway. Go, BatWondy, Go!

Tomorrow: Five moments in comics that made us swoon.H34QFP8ZRFQN