“They call me the Spy Smasher because I kill terrorists, and those who wish harm against our country. You will never, ever be in a room with anyone of a higher authority. Not if you live to be a hundred.”

Combine every relentless hardass you’ve ever known, add a dose of supreme confidence and combat training, provide scary federal credentials, and put it all in one intimidating package topped off with a severe ponytail. The result? Katrina Armstrong, aka Spy Smasher.As written by Gail Simone in the Birds of Prey “Blood and Circuits” arc, Ms. Armstrong was your worst nightmare, and she blew into the Birds’ lives like a blonde tornado. Barbara Gordon is a hard woman to intimidate, but her former college frenemy took her to the brink by going after her team with big, government-certified guns. And by not-too-subtly threatening her dad, Commissioner Jim Gordon. In short, Spy Smasher is valedictorian of the Amanda Waller School of Ruthless Tactics. If you don’t follow her command, prepare to be tirelessly and vigorously hunted.

Has anyone seen Wilkins' manhood? It's gone.

Spy Smasher’s BoP entrance was unforgettable. Storming into the Pentagon, she immediately demanded that some poor bureaucrat – Deputy Administrator Fenton Wilkins — shoot down the Birds’ helicopter. He tried to reason with her later, but she (as they say in some circles) totally pulled his ho card in the sequence above. Oh, and when Wilkins wasn’t quick enough with the coffee, she pulled a gun on him.

Katrina could have been a one-note villain, but Simone wrote the character as a intelligent, extremely capable woman who wants to win, period. She also had an interesting history with Babs. Both were gifted, fiercely competitive students at Gotham State, and they regarded each other with a wary respect. “Kat, not quite a friend, more of a like-minded and pleasantly cordial scorpion with just a smidge of unused venom.” Nicola Scott drew Spy Smasher as dangerously long and lean, with cheekbones that could cut glass. That damn ponytail was practically a weapon, and it reminded me of Madonna’s Blonde Ambition phase.

I define a successful character as one who leaves you wanting to see more of them, regardless of “likability.” Spy Smasher doesn’t have a likable bone in her body, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.

Adam Hughes variant cover

When I got back into comics several years ago, I fell hard for Geoff Johns’ Teen Titans. I’d enjoyed the Wolfman/Perez stuff back in the day, and it seemed to me that Johns’ modern incarnation struck all the right notes. There was real chemistry among the characters, a good mix of the funny and the serious, and Johns never tried too hard to write “youth” dialogue. Mike McKone’s artwork? Wonderful.

I think you see where this is going. After a great run, the comic’s script quality dipped a few notches, and then, partly because of things taking place elsewhere in the DCU, it went over a cliff, exploded upon impact, and left a football field-sized patch of scorched earth in its wake. OK; that’s an exaggeration, but not a terribly big one. Suffice to say that many Teen Titans fans — me included — dropped it and never looked back.

Until now. DC has enlisted a new creative team, writer J.T. Krul and illustrator Nicola Scott, to pump new life into Teen Titans, beginning with issue #88. While this comic didn’t rock my world, it is solidly good and taps into the things that made TT work in the Johns era: an interesting team dynamic, witty banter, heavy action and boy-girl drama. They are teenagers, after all. (Mild spoilers ahead.)

Krul deserves a great deal of credit for making Cassie/Wonder Girl a less grating and more credible team leader. She seems to have really stepped up in Tim/Red Robin’s absence, and Scott, one of my favorite artists, draws her with an understated beauty and authority. Actually, that’s the way she draws everything in this book. There’s a lovely moment between Cassie and Conner/Superboy where she’s sitting on her bed, slumped forward with worry. And bless Scott for drawing heroines who look healthy and strong, not like blowup dolls.

But it wouldn’t be a party without Rose/Ravager, who is one kick-ass chick and the consummate antagonist. You want her on your team because she can take suckers down hard — but she also might take your man. I loved the panel where, after a workout, she throws her sweaty towel at Superboy and says, “I got a lot of energy.” All together now: Daaaaaamn!

There are a couple of nifty plot threads going on, too. The world’s sketchiest high school biology teacher has plans for a socially isolated student, and they’re not good. (Note to kids: Do not go into the darkened basement of an adult you barely know. But if you do, and you happen to see a gurney and mutants in cages, run like hell.) Dick/Batman 2 also decides that Damian needs to make some friends, and I’m a little nervous about adding him to the Titans community. He’s a tricky character to write, and casting him as a one-note jerk or a merry brat would be a mistake. Don’t do it, J.T.!

If you’ve missed the Titans, and I certainly have, issue #88 is a good excuse for a reunion. Don’t bust out the confetti just yet, but do keep a bag handy. Verdict: Well played.

Images are ™ and © DC Comics

Cover art by Greg Horn

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #3
Writer: Greg Rucka
Pencils: Nicola Scott
Inks: Jonathan Glapion
Colors: Nei Ruffino
DC Comics
February 3, 2010

Nicola Scott’s rendering of Wonder Woman makes me want to go to the gym in the worst way. I mean that as a compliment, because Scott manages to make heroines’ bodies womanly, strong and distinctive without ever slipping into G-cup exaggeration. Her art is the best thing about this third and final chapter of Blackest Night: Wonder Woman, which is a bit of a letdown after the action-packed, emotionally charged second issue. Frankly, I started to feel a little sorry for Mera, who, as a Red Lantern, was reduced to incoherent rage and red goo-spewing. Not a good look.
(Spoilers ahead)

But if this issue lacked the surprise factor of its predecessor, it’s still a perfectly good read. There are some great panels of Wonder Woman continuing to lay the smack down on Maxwell Lord’s trash-talking corpse. (Note to villains: Bondage jokes are always a bad idea.) And BatWondy ’10 crusaders were rewarded, however modestly, with another acknowledgment of Diana’s feelings for Bruce. As Wonder Woman attempts to calm Mera’s rage, she binds her with her lasso, giving both women access to the other’s dreams and disappointments. The splash page of that moment conveys plenty about the sacrifices Diana and Mera have made in the fulfillment of their royal/heroic duty. Wonder Woman’s explanation of her silence about Bruce is appropriately dignified and poignant: “There was nothing that ever needed saying.” Swoon!

I know it’s corny, but when Hal shows up in the final panel with the Rainbow Rodeo and declares, “We’re going to kick this night’s ass,” I was all, “Hell, yeah!” Overall, Blackest Night: Wonder Woman  has been one of the more enjoyable event tie-ins, and this issue offered a solid return on my $2.99.

By the way, is it just me, or does Greg Horn’s cover make Diana a dead ringer for Jennifer Lopez?

My stylist is so fired.

Nothing raises our hackles quite like hearing someone say Wonder Woman is lame. (Hello, Megan Fox.) For example, one of V’s friends (we’ll call him The Antagonist) takes great joy in claiming, among other things, that Bobby Drake could kick her ass, and that the princess would “look real pretty in a pink tutu, carrying a little purse with a little dog.”

We did not handle that well. Words were exchanged via Facebook.

It was even worse once we figured out the context. The Antagonist had already read Blackest Night #6, in which Wonder Woman was transformed into a member of the Star Sapphire Corps. OK, technically the Star Sapphires wield violet light, but the costume’s color was close enough to pink for it to sting. Say what you want about Wonder Woman’s usual getup, but there is a certain dignity (depending on who is drawing her) to her red, white and blue uniform and golden breastplate. The Star Sapphire look is equal parts Dollar Tree and Strip Club. No offense to Carol Ferris, but only Starfire has a trashier costume — and she’s an alien, so she gets a pass.

Wonder Woman as a love-powered being? That’s awesome. But somewhere, The Antagonist is having a good laugh.

I can’t say enough about artist Nicola Scott, who has generated some gorgeous panels during her Secret Six run. But she outdid herself in issue #9 with a cameo appearance from a certain member of the Bat family.

This “Battle for the Cowl” tie-in brought the Sixers to Gotham City, where they encountered a seriously pissed off Dick Grayson, who was still in Nightwing mode. Tousled hair. Razor-sharp jawline. Perfectly sculpted rear view. Mercy.

I have a thing about Mr. Grayson (the adult version, pervs), so it bugs me when he isn’t drawn well. This panel may be the Gold Standard. We all know it’s just a matter of time before Bruce Wayne is rocking the cowl again, so assuming that Dick goes back to his old job, I repeat my earlier suggestion to give Scott exclusive drawing rights.

Secret Six #16
Writer: Gail Simone
Penciller: Peter Nguyen
Inkers: Doug Hazelwood & Mark McKenna
DC Comics
December 9, 2009

The Story

*Spoiler Alert*

We’ve all watched movies with serial killers where you wished nothing more than for Justice to assail them squarely in the nuts.  Well, our favorite amoral anti-heroes of Secret Six do much, much worse. Leave it to Gail to make demented so delicious.

The issue opens up with Catman and Deadshot abducting a serial-killing child molester from police custody, only to turn him over to the father of 9-year-old Katie Sanchez, one of his victims.  Mr. Sanchez wants revenge.  Before parting ways, Catman gives the bereft father a few tips.  “When you flense him, don’t think of him as human. It’s just tissue.”  Catman and Deadshot exit scene  to talk about … dinner!  Gail perfectly articulates the fine line these lovable psychopaths teeter on.  The diabolical duo don’t get very far before the one and only Black Alice makes her presence known.

Now, I am beyond thrilled that Alice is back in Gail’s hands.  I loved her at inception, and have been champing at the bit for more of the character ever since.

Having witnessed the tutorial on torture, Alice is unaffected and wants to join the Six.  In her bratty, teenager fresh-from-hell kind of way, she refuses to take no for an answer.  Throw in some strip club shenanigans, Black Alice’s magical mojo, some sentiment from the teddy bear that is Bane, the always welcome witticism of Ragdoll, and you got yourself a Dionysian good time.

The Art

I pretty much jizzed on myself when I got a look at LuVisi’s cover back in August.  I LOVE HIS ART.

But I have to admit; I really missed Nicola, who is about as good as a comic artist can get.  Having said that, I think Peter Nguyen did a excellent job.  The facial closeups were awesome. I absolutely loved what he did with Alice’s costumes as she moved between magics.  The Alice Banshee was some rock star shit, fa sho.  I also dig the ink, which is appropriately ominous. My only criticism is that the faces seemed elongated in certain panels. All in all, enjoyable.

I had a great deal of anticipation for this issue, and I was not disappointed.  I look forward to whatever fuckery the Six can get themselves into next and … and what happens if (OK, when) they make Alice angry.  Cowabunkle!