Non-geeks like to make jokes about what an unsexy hobby comic-book reading is, but have these people read a comic lately? Last year, I flipped through a Justice League of America issue and stumbled across a scene of Hawk Girl and Red Arrow engaged in one hell of a team-up. Some of those panels will send the unsuspecting reader scrambling for a bucket of cold water.
Which brings me to that dream sequence scene of my favorite Amazon making out with the original Batman in Wonder Woman Blackest Night #2. Yes, I know it was all in Diana’s mind as she fought the influence of the Black Lantern ring, and that Bruce Wayne is currently “dead.” But these two have long been my comic fantasy couple, which made that panel of them smooching, at least for me, the equivalent of geek-girl soft porn. The Thursday morning-after analysis with V. went thusly:
V: “Did you see how they were standing with his leg between hers? Girl, it was kinda dirty.”
Me: “Oh, it would be dirty. With Batman? Definitely.”
It went downhill from there with inappropriate comments about utility belts. Anyway, the moment wouldn’t have been nearly as thrilling if Diana had been dreaming of, say, Hal Jordan. There’s a reason that writers — including those behind the excellent “Justice League” and “Justice League Unlimited” cartoons — have played with the idea of a romantic spark between Batman and Wonder Woman over the years.
They’ve got a couple of important things in common: While Wonder Woman is motivated by her love of humanity, ultimately, she’s all about getting the job done. In her own way, she’s every bit as tenacious and mission-driven as Batman is. (Maybe moreso. Wonder Woman put the drop on Maxwell Lord, something Batman has never been able to do with all-too-deserving villains like the Joker.) Then there’s the privilege factor. They’re not exactly equals — Diana is blessed by deities, after all — but the two share the experience of having extraordinary backgrounds. Diana is a princess, and as the billionaire prince of Gotham City, Bruce certainly qualifies as American royalty. For obvious reasons, neither would expect the other to be home by 5 p.m. with dinner waiting.
The theory that Batman is incapable of having a decent relationship is valid, but I’m not sure I buy it. He may be a brooding asshole with intimacy issues, but he’s still a man. Somehow, I doubt he’d turn down an opportunity to be with someone as formidable, wise and drop-dead beautiful as Wonder Woman. Given Bruce’s sketchy romantic track record — Catwoman, Talia al-Ghul, Jezebel Jet — it’s way past time for him to go legit in the dating department. And really, who better than Wonder Woman to try breaking through all those layers of Kevlar and mistrust? If she couldn’t do it, no one could.
So let’s bring the teasing to an end once and for all, DC. When Mr. Wayne returns from the great beyond, he and Diana are overdue for a little trip to Paradise Island, if you know what I’m saying.