DC fans like to joke about how Grant Morrison’s mind-bending stories often seem influenced by, shall we say, exotic substances. But Morrison’s got nothing on the Silver Age scribes who were responsible for some of the nuttiest comic book stories ever printed. One of the best examples? Comet the freakin’ Super-Horse.
Everyone’s heard of Krypto, but less well known are the other members of the Legion of Super-Pets: Streaky the Super-Cat, Beppo the Super-Monkey and, the wildest creation of the bunch, Comet the Super-Horse. You see, Comet was formerly a centaur from ancient Greece, and some unfortunate sorcery turned him into a Mr. Ed’s flying cousin. After seeing Comet first in a dream, pre-Crisis, Earth-1 Supergirl — aka Linda Lee Danvers — eventually comes face-to-face with the stallion and takes him for a ride. (Get your minds out of the gutter.) Turns out Comet has super-powers, including the ability to communicate telepathically, and he still wants to be a man — Kara/Linda’s man.
More spells and shenanigans ensue, and I don’t have the life force to explain all of them. Suffice to say that Supergirl and her sidekick become close, and Comet is eventually able to assume human form whenever a comet (sigh) passes Earth. This is where DC ups the crazy: As a human, Comet becomes rodeo trick-rider “Bronco” Bill Starr — and guess who falls in love with him? At this point, though, both of them are keeping secrets about their true identities.
Bill is named king of the rodeo, and of course, he needs a queen … in a cape. This time, he gets to make out with Supergirl in full costume!
Supergirl never puts two-and-two together, and Comet, unable to sustain his human-ness, decides not to tell her. Just like that, Rodeo Bill is gone, and Supergirl and her equine companion are left to wonder what might have been. It would be bittersweet and kinda romantic if it weren’t mind-blowingly insane.
Comet’s history is so full of hallucinogenic moments that it adds up to a lifetime supply of WTF? Wednesdays by itself. This can only mean one thing: It’s time for Grant Morrison to reboot Coment for a new generation of DC readers and take the madness to the next level. That is, if there is a next level.