WTF? Wednesday: Justice Served Cold – Or Toasted!

Borrowed from the Aquaman Shrine

For many a geek, food ads featuring superheroes were integral to the childhood comic-reading experience. In between scenes of Wonder Woman whupping Nazis, you’d see spots for Hostess fruit pies — usually illustrated as nicely as the main story itself — starring Justice League members. Those ads are considered retro comedy gold now, but my 8-year-old self rather enjoyed them.

Borrowed from Bleeding Cool

Nevertheless, I was totally unprepared for a seven-page Subway ad making the rounds in DC comics. If you’ve ever thought, “Gee, I’d love nothing more than to see NFL stars Ndamukong Suh, Justin Tuck, and Michael Strahan team up with the Justice League,” boy, are you in luck.

“Sacked” is an LOL ludicrous story that combines pro football, heroic battle, and Subway’s “oh-so energizing turkey and bacon avocado on wheat.” While walking on a Hawaii beach, sandwiches in hand, our pro trio discovers an ailing Aquaman, who is literally in the hands of dastardly Black Manta and Oceanmaster. The guffaw-inducing lines fly fast and furious.

Oceanmaster: “You’re out of your depth athletes!”

Green Lantern: “Mind if I join the game?”

Superman: “This is a job for Superman!”

And poor, poor Aquman. Aside from the disgrace of needing rescue on his own turf, he actually tells Batman, “I guess that’ll teach me to go swimming alone.” Dude! You’re the king of Atlantis! (For more on this injustice, check out the Aquaman Shrine’s funny lament.)

But the best part by far is when Black Manta, admitting defeat, steals Strahan’s somehow uncompromised sub before attempting escape. By that time, I was having an uncontrollable giggle fit. Good thing that my cat was the only witness.

It’s obvious that B. Clay Moore wrote this thing tongue in cheek, and I have to admit that Sergio Sandoval’s pencils are quite attractive. Wonder Woman gets some decent panel time and a funny quip, to boot. Besides, comics have become so dark and brooding that this kind of goofiness — heavy-handed product placement notwithstanding — can be refreshing as a mouthwatering Subway Club on hearty Italian bread! (See how I snuck that in all subtle-like?) Plus, it says something that “Sacked” was more memorable and entertaining than the issue surrounding it.

Just show Arthur a little love next time, OK?

22 thoughts on “WTF? Wednesday: Justice Served Cold – Or Toasted!

  1. Aquaman doesn’t even make the cover? It is nice to see the NFL finding that financial third leg to assist in covering their losses in case the strike drags on through the summer. E, I give you major credit for just making it through the book. I’m thinking Subway owes you a free cookie or two for reviewing this crap.

    Like

  2. Haha. I haven’t seen this yet, but I have to give it credit for hilarity. Plus, I’ve never been much of an Aquaman fan, so it won’t bother me nearly as much as it would if it were, say, the Flash. :P
    I’m gonna keep an eye out for it in my comic books now. I wanna read the whole thing now!

    Like

  3. This is right up there with those retro-romance comic covers you sometimes showcase! : )
    WACKY!!!!! : D
    Comics run the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime and I would not have it any other way! ” : )

    Like

    • Just the Wonder Woman picture, Rich. The other came from the Aquaman Shrine, and I also have an image from the insert in my Teen Titans comic. I’m happy to give you a credit if you like. See above.

      Like

  4. It’s stupidly fun. I love it. But what happens when Manta goes home and finds out…there’s no mayo.
    (wait for dramatic pause)…STRAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

    Like

  5. I hope writer B.Clay Moore doesn’t take too much ribbing for this, since this is no more silly than the Hostess ads, as you point out, E. Its just there was no internet for people to log on to and bitch about Thor taking on The Ding-A-Ling Family.

    The amount of ignominy Aquaman is subjected to in this story is almost sublime, its so over-the-top. All it needed was Aquaman to try and trick Superman into marrying him!

    Like

  6. I hope writer B.Clay Moore doesn’t take too much ribbing for this, since this is no more silly than the Hostess ads, as you point out, E. Its just there was no internet for people to log on to and bitch about Thor taking on The Ding-A-Ling Family.

    The amount of ignominy Aquaman is subjected to in this story is almost sublime, its so over-the-top. All it needed was Aquaman to try and trick Superman into marrying him!

    Like

    • Why does Aquaman always get the short end of the stick?
      Can anyone tell me? Has it always been this way for Arthur? : )

      Like

      • He’s my favorite character on that awful Batman: The Brave and the Bold TV series. I won’t say I’ve jumped on the Aquaman band wagon just yet though.

        Like

        • I LOVE Batman Brave and the Bold! It is cute, campy and it was designed for children not really for man/children. ; )
          My nephews love it and so do other kids that I know.
          It was not really made for the grown-up Batman fan,

          Like

  7. I skipped it when I saw it in my Legion of Super-Heroes issue but now I have to go back and read it. I DID witness Aquaman’s pathetic state on the beach however. Poor Arthur.

    Like

  8. Aaaaargh… I hate this, I hated the old adverts, too! Here in the UK, there are rules about what ads you can broadcast during children viewing hours… but this is worse than fast-food saturation advertising, it’s actually a physical part of the comic, featuring beloved, trusted super-heroes. There’s every danger of the young actually choosing to re-read it… it’s insidious brain-washing, the seeds of mind-control!!

    (Sorry… 6am here, and I still can’t sleep… a little hysteria is creeping in).

    Like

  9. Pingback: Now signing at your local Subway… |

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s