As every smart parent knows, the best way to keep kids from becoming sexually active is to treat their feelings as something dirty, destructive and unmentionable. This is particularly true when you are raising daughters, because society does not go far enough in enforcing a double standard for males and females. Girls, nothing is more important than maintaining a good reputation! Take it from “First Kiss,” the cautionary tale from Falling In Love #118:

Your first boyfriend … Your first date … And your first kiss! And suddenly that one kiss leads to another and another and another … until you finally have to ask yourself: “Am I still worthy of love?”

Before my sarcasm reserves run dry, let us consider the plight of young Ellen Turner. It’s her very first date with Jimmy, and they reach a crossroads as they sit in his parked convertible in the dark. You know what I’m talking about.

Falling in Love #118 Panel 1Throwing caution and morality to the wind, Ellen kisses him. On the mouth! Not one, but two times! And this was back in 1970, when teenagers simply did not carry on this way.

Ellen pays a heavy price for her ruinous behavior during a tortured night of weeping and unending heartache. What was she thinking, expressing such deviant basic, age-appropriate desires so early in a relationship? Soon, Keith will be telling lewd tales in the locker room and inscribing her name in bathroom stalls. I blame rock ‘n roll — and pot.

It goes on.

Falling In Love #118 Panel 2And on.

Falling In Love #118 Panel 3

The next day, Ellen is devastated when Jimmy doesn’t show up on time for a second date. And why would he, when she’s clearly the town trollop?

Falling in Love #118 Panel

But it turns out he was changing a flat tire! He not only gives Ellen a second chance, but also has the decency to worry about his own role — however understandable because he is male — in this tawdry affair. Falling In Love #118Still, the writer makes sure Falling in Love‘s impressionable readers understand that Ellen barely averted disaster.  “Does one mistake always mean it’s the fatal one?” she muses. “Luckily, I got another chance. Will you be that fortunate?” Unlikely.

It would have been even better if the story had shown Jimmy and Ellen on a second date, sitting far apart in a parlor room while a responsible adult chaperoned. It’s obvious they can’t be trusted to control themselves.

6 thoughts on “WTF? Wednesday: Girl Gone Wild

  1. The single best opening sentence since Homer. May your sarcasm reserves always be plentiful!

    The “blame [insert current brand of popular music] plus pot” trope is an oldie but goodie. Here’s some good old, toked-up jazz to show my appreciation for another great post:


  2. I am going to have to stop reading these Wednesday columns. I feel like I need to apologize for the comics girls/young women were being offered back in the day. As I have stated before, no wonder it took so long for the fairer gender to accept this art form.


  3. While reading this I had a soundtrack of melodramatic organ music playing to punctuate the shocking bits and help drive home the lesson of female wantoness. I am thankful for these lessons. ; )


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.